Modern Uberdox

Glimpse of Greatness- Rav Dovid Lifshitz zt'l

2012-01-29T21:57:00.000-06:00

The following was published CHICAGO TORAH, a monthly publication of Yeshiva University Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago.

GLIMPSE OF GREATNESS

Rabbi Dovid Lifshitz, zt”l

(1906-1993) was a distinguished Torah leader, who was renowned for his dedication to his countless students. At the age of 30, Rav Lifshitz became the community rabbi of Suvalk in Poland, which he maintained until its capture by the Nazis in 1940. Rav Lifshitz and some of his family escaped to the United States where he presided as the Rosh Yeshiva of the Hebrew Theological College (HTC) for a brief period.

Rav Lifshitz was presented with two opportunities in New York City: to serve as rosh yeshiva at two preeminent institutions, Torah Vodaath and Rabbi Isaac Elchanan Theological Seminary. Rav Lifshitz chose to accept the position at RIETS, where he served as teacher and mentor for nearly five decades.

Rav Lifshitz lived with his family on the campus of the Yeshiva and made himself constantly available to his students. He treated each of them with great care and respect.

One morning, a student came to his apartment unannounced. The student knocked on the apartment door, and the Rosh Yeshiva’s wife answered. She asked the student to wait in order to inform her husband of his guest.

The student was waiting patiently, when he noticed the kitchen door slightly ajar. Through the gap, he saw Rav Lifshitz sitting at the table, without a jacket or hat, eating his breakfast. When the Rebbetzin informed Rav Lifshitz about the student who was waiting, he immediately ran to the back and donned his jacket and hat.

After his conversation with Rav Lifshitz, the student left the apartment and understood the intentions of his Rebbe; without knowing, Rav Lifshitz taught the young man a lesson of respect- respect for Torah and respect for every person. The student understood that a teacher of Torah must present themselves with dignity and honor befitting the Torah that they represent. Rav Lifshitz taught that this honor was not only reserved for greeting distinguished guests or formal occasions. Every student, every visitor, deserved this same distinguished honor. It was with care and respect that he earned the devotion of his countless students.

(As told by Rabbi Yudin)

Sunday's mussar moment

2012-01-29T08:23:00.002-06:00

The Alter of Novardok said:

A man that is not firm in his convictions is similar to a worthless lock which can be twisted any way.

Staying in shul (and davening)

2012-01-24T22:13:00.000-06:00

I have afound there a few factors involved when it comes to a getting a child to stay in shul and attempting to daven. I am not a parenting, chinuch, or educational expert. I am just a regular guy and these are my observations and what has, so far, worked for me. Of course, if you child cannot behave in shul, then they really are too young to come to shul (regardless of age). In noparticular order the factors that I've observed are:

Seeingadults who take davening seriously: This means no excessive talking and very little DADD (davening attention deficit disorder)
Understandingthat coming to shul is a privilege: It's a special treat to get to come and daven to Hashem
Appreciating that shul is a mikdash me'at: Instilling an idea of the kedushah of a shul is key (see this post)
Positive peer influence: While we can offer direction, our children's friends truly are influential
Having davening incentive programs in school: A child needs to know that what he is doing is being observed and rewarded
Having slightly older role models: Being able to look up to someone, even a grade older, can give a child someone to look up to
The candy man- As my son's 4th grade rebbe told us a parent orientation, "You'd be amazed what your children will do for a gumball."

Unless you started reading biographies of gedolim since infancy to your children, most of them are not so keen on staying in shul for all of davening. I can't blame them. Most rabbis that I spoken with or parenting shiurim I've listened to suggest letting a child stay in for "as much as they can handle". My son has been going to shul on Shabbos morning with me since he was 3. He has, for the most part, been sitting with me, davening what he is comfortable davening, and until he was 10, going to groups.

On Shabbos I daven in a very nice hashkama minyan that regularly has between 45-60 halachic adult males, of which 3 are between 13-17. This minyan isn't a heavily kid populated (mostly because it's at 7:30), but the minyan is very kid friendly. Currently including my son there are about 5 other boys in 4th-6th grade. We have davened there for almost 6 years my son has always left the beis midrash right before haftorah and then, if I'm lucky, resurfaced by Adon Olam. About 5 weeks ago I made the observation to him that of the 6 boys in 4th-6th grade, there are 3 that come back in for musaf. I asked him if he'd be interested in coming in for musaf and staying until the end of davening for 3 weeks and as a reward we'd go out for pizza, just he and I.

He agreed and after the second week of going out for haftorah and then returning before Ashrei, he actually stayed in for the haftorah and didn't even leave. B'li ayin hora, he has been staying in and doesn't seem to mind. Now, my son and his father are far from perfect, but we are both aware of what's expected of us.

Giving and taking; expanding and contracting

2012-01-20T14:58:00.003-06:00

Please see this post from two years ago that discusses Rav Dessler zt'l.

Yahrtzeit of Rav Dessler zt'l

2012-01-20T13:04:00.000-06:00

The 25th of Teves is the yahrtzeit of Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt'l, one of the most influential post World War II baalei mussar.

I'd like to re-examine one of my favorite about him, originally posted here.

When Rav Dessler came to America in 1948, he met up with his son, Nachum Velvel in New York. Rav Dessler asked his son who had help him during his years alone in America? His son mentioned several people in New York along with Rabbi Eliezer Silver, the head of Agudah Israel and the rav of Cincinnati. Rav Dessler said, "We must thank him."
His son offered to place a telephone call to Rabbi Silver, but Rav Dessler wanted to show personal hakaros hatov to Rabbi Silver. Nachum Velvel and his father then took a nine hour train ride to Ohio, arriving at 5:00 am in Cincinnati. Then went to Rabbi Silver's home and waited on the porch to meet Rabbi Silver as he left his house for davening.
Rabbi Silver met his two guests when he woke up and they all went to shul and then back to the Silver's for breakfast. After a bite to eat, Rabbi Silver said, "So, Rav Dessler, what brings you to Cincinnati?" Rav Dessler said that he had only come to show appreciation to Rabbi Silver for all he had done for his son.
Rabbi Silver thought about this and again asked, "So, Rav Dessler, what really brings you to Cincinnati?"
Rav Dessler said that he had no other purpose that to show hakaros hatov. Rabbi Silver asked, "Rav Dessler, what can I do for you?"
Rav Dessler, for a third time, repeated that he only wished to show gratitude to Rabbi Silver in person.
Rabbi Silver finally gave up and muttered, "This must be mussar."
(Paraphrased from the Artscroll biography of Rav Dessler, by Yonoson Rosenbloom)

Ihad originally thought about writing something regarding Rav Desslers view ofperfecting middos and our own subjectivity or his view on the importance oftefillah (praying), but I am going with a more down to earth message.

Acommon theme among mussar teaching is the need to emphasize the mitzvos beinadam l'chavero (between person and person), while keeping in mind thatrecognizing the "Godliness" within each person falls into the venueof bein adam l'makom (between a person and Hashem).

Thosewho are great people in the arena of character development are such becausethey think. Most of the times we feelslighted, turned off, distance or conflicted about relationships with others isbecause one party simply didn’t think about the other person. We don’t take time to really appreciateothers or truly think about how someone else would feel when we give ouropinion about something.

So,as we come to the end of a week and start another, I will try to think moreabout those I interact with and attempt to bring kiddusha (holiness) to myrelationships. The greatness of thestory above, in my opinion, is that Rav Dessler gave thought to what he coulddo to show appreciation.

For other postings about Rav Dessler please click here.

Secret identities and blogging

2012-01-16T22:00:00.000-06:00

T-Shirt found here

Inmy youth I collected and read comic books. Part of my interest was rooted in dichotomy between the privatelife of the hero and the public life of his/her crime fighting (and usuallymasked) alter ego.

The freedom to do what you say and do what you want without it potentiallyaffecting your private life must be someone liberating. Because of my own self-imposed system ofchecks and balances I decided to post under my own name, instead of using a pseudonym. For the most part this works for me and keepsme fairly true to myself and honest. Itdoes, however, mean that some of my thoughts (or rants) about things get pushedaside for more “lofty” writing (insert smile here).

In the past few weeks I was tempted to actually start another blog, undera fake name. The idea would be that itwould give me a platform (without anyone probably ever reading it) to getthings off my chest and attempt to offer solutions to the many problems facingJewish society today. I know that I don’thave all or even a few of the answers, but I strongly loathe blogs where someonerants and raves about an issue, but even with dozens of comments, a resolutionor real-world suggestion is never reached.

Hot Topic issues would be brought up like: The trend of public blogging about the conversionprocess in America (within all camps of Judaism), what’s going on in RBS,self-perpetuating issues within the chinuch system, and the social pitfalls of makingother feel you are “frummer than thou”.

I went so far as to make a real blog. I even came up with an awesome blogging alias and a name for the blog. But, there were two major problems.

The pseudonym was both revealing and also would have labeled me.
I didn’t feel like having two separate identities, because maintaining this blog is hard enough.

Don't get me wrong, please. If you blog and don't use your real name, it doesn't bother me. Some people have very sound reasons for doing this. However, the secret identity thing just didn't sit to well with me. You see, this is personal blog. I'm not Spider-Man, Superman, or even a pubic member of the Fantastic Four. There might be some so-called mussar and a dvar Torah thrown in once ina while, but at the end of the day, it’s a personal blog and nothing more. That being written, there are things in mylife that I don’t write about and really don’t feel like sharing even if it’sin the form of a pseudonym, which is why I decided not to get past an "about me" for that other blog. If you findthe blog out there and the initial entry thengreat.

In the meantime, here is an edited and not so revealing version of the “aboutme”:

This isn’t isn'tmy actual name, it’s fake. I wasn’t borninto an observant family and read a lot of the Raymond Carver, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Ayn Rand, Jack Kerouac, and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in highschool. I became frum in high school before CDs were sold in record stores andthen, ten years afterwards, before getting married, I discovered something aboutmyself that gave me food for thought about my own Torah observance and Knesses Yisrael. So, without adding any more details, let's just say that life goes on. Backin public high school my hair was often streaked with peroxide and different lengths and shapes(thanks to Aqua Net). By eventually I choppedit off so that I could look more clean cut for my interview at Yeshiva University(the things we do for Torah). Back then,I spent my free time listening to hardcore punk and college radio. Today, I have very little hair and when I docatch myself listening to Husker Du or Bad Religion on my iTouch my kids rolltheir eyes and call the music “complete chaos and a ruckus". They are somewhat correct, having been raisedon Uncle Moishy, Piamenta, and YBC. Inthe end, I am zoche to have a wife and children to love me and rock. My children, fight a genetic dislike forcleaning their rooms and display a strength of self and independence that setsthem apart from many of their peers. There is nothing more hardcore than going against the grain and doingwhat Hashem wants each of us to do.

By the way, what is written above it a total rephrasing of what's on the blog, so don't bother googling any of the phrases or sentences.

Sunday's Salanter selection

2012-01-15T11:53:00.001-06:00

Seeing a boy in shul yesterday run towards the aron kodesh to kiss the Torah and knock over a chair (almost into two people) reminded me of this saying by R Yisrael Salanter:
A person can rush to do a mitzvah and destroy the whole world in his path.

Tomer Devorah shiurim 6 and 7 now online

2012-01-10T20:59:00.000-06:00

Tomer Devorah shiurim 6 and 7 by Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago are now available for streaming or downloading here:

Shiur 6: Lo Hechzik Lo'ad Apo
Shiur 7: Ki Chafetz Chesed Hu

Starubucks' Blond Roast and kiruv

2012-01-10T13:50:00.001-06:00

In 2007 I wrote a post titled Kiruv Models for beyondbt.com. In it used Starbucks as a model and today I find myself doing the same. At locations across North America Starubucks revealed their new "Blond Roast", a light roasted coffee being introduced to attract those who are buying coffee at donut chains and fast food joints. "We know we're not serving those customers now. We're going to bring in new customers," Andrew Linnemann, director of coffee quality at Starbucks, said of Blonde, in an article today in the Chicago Tribune.

For the people like me, I love a dark roast. That's why I like Starbucks (at a cRc recommended kiosk). I have never had McDonald's coffee, but Dunkin always tasted watered down. Over the years Starbucks has introduced "new" things into their stores that seem to grab customers like skim milk, soy milk, and blended frozen drinks. Some have been more successful than others.

This trend of attracting those who are not part of your market share has always been important in kiruv. In the past few years this has surfaced in the following ways:

The success of The Mussar Institute, popularity of Dr. Alan Morinis' books, and the introduction of "Mussar" as a buzzword among non-Orthodox branches of Judaism prompted Aish's Jewish Pathways (self-contained distance/online learning) to get Dr. Morinis to author a "Mussar Program" offering.
Popularity of the Maccabeats' pop music parody vidoes have spawned (time and time again) private individuals and kiruv organizations to put out their own "Jewish" versions of music videos (of course Shlock Rock originally and skillfully did this eons ago).
NCSY, the most successful Orthodox youth group, has cornered the market of teen outreach since its' inception. In the two years Chabad has begun massive outreach in the form of CTeen,. "CTeen is a social club where teens learn about themselves and their heritage through giving to others and participating in interactive, hands-on activites. With over 85 chatpers, CT is the fastest growing network for Jewish teens." They even are hosting a massive shabbaton in NYC next month.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then I guess those who serve light roasted coffee (a code word for watered down coffee) will be thrilled. In regard to the bullets above, I'm not sure what the approach should be. The Mussar Institute has made Mussar relevant for thousands of people (their Facebook group alone has almost 800 members). More and more I read about Reform and Reconstructionist groups running Mussar programs. I think that it's about time adult kiruv groups serve up "Blond" mussar programs to the non-Orthodox community. The Maccabeats had two very successful parodies and this Chanukah they went with a more traditional route by covering a song by Matisyahu. NCSY continues to be on the cutting edge of programming, but Chabad has massive funding behind all of their programs.

Opening up your doors to a new market is always a risk. As is changing the way you make your signature product. We do, however, have an amazing an unique product to offer...Hashem's Torah.

Images and agendas

2012-01-09T20:56:00.001-06:00

This is from an old GAP ad from 1993

I grabbed this off the web at

8:50pm and added some text

164 of The Rav's shiurim in English now online

2012-01-08T18:35:00.001-06:00

I received the following via Facebook:

Chevra, please share this with all of your friends!
I have recently posted 164 of Rabbi Soloveitchik’s English language audio shiurim (MP3 format) spanning the years 1958-1984. They are available here:
http://tinyurl.com/82pgvfn

Rabbi David Etengoff

Sunday's nibble from Novardok

2012-01-08T14:06:00.003-06:00

R Yosef Yozel Hurwitz, the Alter of Novardok said:

As long as the battle rages, even a plain soldier can become a general.*

*This blog post came to me after reading "The Killing Blow" at loveisthemotive.blogspot.com

"Just six words" thread at BeyondBT.com

2012-01-05T09:11:00.002-06:00

If you have time, jump over to this post at BeyondBT.com. The concept is awesome and the thread is great.

Raising More Tolerant Children

2012-01-04T13:04:00.002-06:00

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz wrote an excellent article titled Raising More Tolerant Children, based on recent events in Eretz Yisrael. He happens to quote a suggestion I posted on his website last week (based on a comment from Steve Brizel I saw years ago at BeyondBT). Even without quoting me, it's a great read.

Sunday's Slabodka selection

2012-01-01T09:31:00.001-06:00

R Avraham-Elya Kaplan, a beloved student of the Alter, wrote the following poem, "As I Listen" in 1912. The poem describes the how the Alter "captured the hearts of his talmidim:
The spark of the heart of the sage of Israel,
fanned by his past,
Guided by the force of his presence,
solaced by his morrow,
Angered by the rebellion of his challengers,
constrained by the cry of his pain,
Is carried atop his storm
in a desert of exile and wandering.

(from page 573 of MAKING OF A GODOL by R Nosson Kamenetsky)

Looking at my outlook

2011-12-29T17:04:00.001-06:00

I was asked by someone this week to define my hashkafah (outlook). Ok, that's easy.
I'm modern-mussarnik-yeshivish-lite-neo-chassidish/yekkish-YUish-uberdox.

I know, that really doesn't say much about my outlook.

I am often hypocritical...but I'm aware of it, I go to minyan, have a television, spend a few nights a week learning in a beis midrash, have internet, I am not a fan of talking during davening...but I am not a fan of "shushhing", I wear a black hat on Shabbos Kodesh, wear black "Non-Fiction Unlimited" baseball cap when it's raining, if I listen to the radio it's only the news since the one station in Chicago I actually liked went off the air, my iPod has: Carlebach, Diaspora, Piamenta, Yosef Karduner, D'veykus, YBC, Shalsheles, Pitom, Bad Religion, Husker Du/Bob Mould, Echo and the Bunnymen, and old R.E.M., I aim to be a giver in the "Rav Dessler" sense of the word but I am open to receiving mussar, my three kids attend a seperate-sex day school (with girls and boys under one roof, my wife covers her hair, my black "Knitting Factory" kipah covers mine (ok, it's really not from the Knitting Factory, but it's a black knit kippah), kavod ha'brios is something I view as important, some say I yell and others say I don't yell enough, I really enjoy it when a baal tefilah is leibidig, I have no problem sitting with a sefer and an iced latte in a cRc acceptable Starbucks kiosk, I thought I knew what Hashem wanted from me until I read Mesillas Yesharim in 1990, thought I knew what love was until I married my wife in 1997, I've sold a bunch of hardcore punk and alternative tapes and CDs so I could have money to purchase seforim... which is a rather punk thing to do, my kids like a majority of the Jewish music I listen to, no one in my eruv seems to like the few secular bands I listen to, I usually read a fiction book during each Chol Hamoed, I say the tefillah of the Chofetz Chaim prior to kiddush on Shabbos so that I will be more aware of what I might say during kiddush, while I find being able to quote Rishonim to be impressive...I also find those who say "please" and "thank you" to be just as impressive, and I have this bumper magnet on my vehicle:

Prototype-not available yet for consumers

NCSY and the sweet sound of graditude

2011-12-27T09:49:00.004-06:00

If this title caught your eye, feel free to read the actual post here at BeyondBT.com .

My 40 minutes as a 6th grade substitute

2011-12-26T21:43:00.000-06:00

Graphic from here

Every year, as part of our day school's "give/get" program, I volunteer as the "room mother" for my son's class. The last time I blogged about this was when he was in 2nd grade. My duty was really just to watch the class eat lunch and hang out in the room while their Rebbe enjoyed the faculty Chanukah party at school. Last year, I said something that totally embarassed my son. This year I had the intention of keeping myself under the radar.

As it turned out, that morning I drove "minyan carpool", so I was in the school for shacharis. I observed something for 2 minutes that made me very sad. During davening one of the boys thought it would be cute to take a siddur from another boy who was davening. What surprised me was that these boys are actually really good friends. I kept waiting for the siddur to be returned, but it didn't happen, so I went and retrieved it myself. I am not that friendly with the family of the boy to took the siddur, so I wasn't too hip to saying something to him about what he did. I did mention to the boy who was left without a siddur that behavior like that isn't the way that Hashem wants us to treat our fellow Jews and if someone does something like that again to him then he really should say something. I am very close with him, so he totally understood what I was saying. Knowing that I would have time in the classroom that afternoon with both boys (and the rest of my son's class), I started thinking about how I could get the message across that taking a siddur from someone is totally uncool.

As I walked into the class, I realized that I had to tell over Reb Shlomo Carlebach's story of "The Holy Hunchback". If you are not familiar with it, go here and then continue reading. I had played it for my son the week before and I knew that this was the vehicle to, hopefully, get my message delivered. I let the kids have their lunch and schmooze among themselves and then offered them a story.

Even though my son hoped I would sing it, Carlebach style, I simply said it over, slowly repeating the catchprase, "Children, precious children, just remember the greatest thing in the world is to do somebody else a favor". Then I said that by doing a favor to someone, we're doing what Hashem does. He did us the biggest favor by creating the Torah, creating the world, and creating us. I mentioned that we don't have to be street cleaner to do people favors. By simply smiling at someone, saying hi, or asking how someone is doing, you following Hashem's example.

Then I said to them that by making fun of someone or being mean you are doing the opposite of "the greatest thing in the world". I told them, locking eyes for half a second with one boy, that even something that they think is harmless, like taking a siddur from a friend who is davening, is, like, far from the greatest thing they could do in the world... it's not a favor to you, your friend, or Hashem.

I ended my 40 minutes, as their next teacher came in, thanking them for their time and reminding them that "the greastest thing in the world is to do someone else a favor".

A thoughtful gift

2011-12-26T15:35:00.003-06:00

In the sefer Da Es Atzmecha, the mechaber writes that the essence of giving is that you are aware of what a person really needs or is lacking. To properly give someone a gift, you have to understand them. You shouldn't, for example, give someone a sweater because you think it looks good. Since it was my birthday recently, my wife and son came up with an awesome gift for me.

Last year for my anniversary, my wife got me a digital photo frame and it's been sitting in the box, unused. Over the summer, while at someone's home, I saw such a frame displaying family pictures and commented, "Wouldn't it be cool to just load a frame with with photos of gedolim?"

Well, thanks to my wife and son, my living room is currently rockin' a digital frame with photographs (culled from the web) of:

The Chofetz Chaim, Rav Dessler, Reb Moshe and Rav Hutner (talking together), Rav Gifter, Rav Hirsh (illustration), Rav Kalonymus Kalman Shapira (the Piaseczno Rebbe), Rav Freifeld, Rav Moshe Weinberger, Reb Yaakov and Rav Ruderman (walking), the Rav, Reb Aryeh Levin, Rav Kook, and the Alter of Slabodka

8th grade graduation picture of Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt'l

2011-12-21T09:21:00.001-06:00

Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt'l (middle)

When HaRav Gedalia Finkel, the brother of R Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l, visited Arie Crown Hebrew Day School earlier this month, my son followed him, as he showed the current principal the 8th grade graduation picture of the Mir Rosh Yeshiva zt"l from 1956. Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt'l graduated from what was then called the Central Hebrew Day School and is now Arie Crown Hebrew Day School.

A short Chanukkah note

2011-12-20T12:14:00.001-06:00

Revised (thanks to an insightful and friendly email from R Micha Berger)

Tonight after lighting, take a few minutes to think about the bracha of being able to serve our Creator, the neis (miracle) of preserving our innate holiness, and the power we have to spread it within ourselves and outward to those we are close with. Chanukah was the last Yom Tov given to us* and its' light will bring us back to Geulah (Redemption).

Have a Frelichin Chanukah!!!

*As decided upon by Chazal

Sunday's Salanter selection

2011-12-17T22:04:00.004-06:00

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter said:
Character is man's only real possession.

I'm Watching You Dad - For All Parents

2011-12-15T21:01:00.000-06:00

Charlie Harary posted a link to this video today. It's left me with me tears in my eyes. Ok, I said it. It really got to me. Partially because I do miss my own father a"h, but also because the video is great mussar for me. There's really not much more to say.

Taking it to the next level

2011-12-13T22:36:00.000-06:00

Imagine being part of a community with over 490 members, working on a specific middah every two week. Wait, it gets better. Every week you get a fantastic reading on that middah every week and excellent thought provoking questions and exercises to make that middah come alive. Tempted?
If you are growth oriented, you might be.

There's such a place and you can find it at madrega.com. Madrega is the brainchild of Modya Silver and if you are not familiar with the website/community, it's worth a look. Currently they are finishing up the middah or "courage". I don't comment there, as much as I, but I attempt to check the site weekly and personally I've grown in my own development over the past two years since I joined. I'm not getting paid to write this, but if you'd like an excellent way to work online with others on a middah, please check out madrega.com.

For a Q & A with Modya Silver, click here.

New Shiur starting in Chicago: Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh on Messilas Yesharim

2011-12-12T09:08:00.000-06:00

Starting the Wednesday, December 14 at Ohel Shalom, 2949 West Touhy Ave, Chicago (SE corner of Touhy and Sacramento) at 8:30 is a new shiur given by Rabbi Daniel Raccah that I am very excited about.

Rabbi Raccah will be teaching Messilas Yesharim with the commentary of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh. I've heard some shiurim from Rav Weinberger based on this sefer, but I am uber-happy to have an opportunity to actually learn it inside with a tremendous Rav like Rabbi Raccah. I have been hearing about him since I came to Chicago and was zoche to hear him speak this past Shavuos. This blurb was emailed to me:

Rabbi Daniel Raccah's Wednesday Night Shiur has B"H completed the Maharal's
Ner Mitzvah. The Shiur will BE"H begin the classic Misilat Yisharim viewed
primarily through the unique and very practical lenses of the Bilvavi
Mishkan Evneh on Wed. Dec. 14th with an earlier start time of 8:30PM at Ohel
Shalom, 2949 W. Touhy. Please join us.

Tomer Devorah shiur #4 now online

2011-12-12T08:49:00.003-06:00

The YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago's Tomer Devorah shiur #4-V'Over al Pesha is now online for streaming and downloading here.

In this shiur we learn how Hashem himself is the one who personally "wipes away" our aveiros.

Straight from the Laugh Factory in Vilna...

2011-12-11T10:26:00.000-06:00

One day in Vilna he [Rabbi Israel Salanter] was seen discussing trivialities with a Vilna resident, even trying to amuse him by telling jokes. Passers by were astonished. They knew very well that R. Israel weighed his words very carefully and would not utted a superfluous syllable. Yet here he was engaging in idle chatter and apparently joking without any restraint. At an opportune moment one of his disciples asked him the reason for his unusual behavior on that occasion. R. Israel answered that the person with whom he had been seen was in a depressed state of mind, and that there was no greater act of chessed [kindess] than to cheer up a downcast human being and revive his spirits.

He would also adopt this same attituted to his own family. Whenever anyone became downhearted, he would recall amusing episodes of his life to allay their anxieties and make them happy. (Told by his aged granddaughter, Chana Leah Rogovin) - From Tenuas Hamussar (The Mussar Movement) by R Dov Katz

Image created here.

Sheloshim Memorial for Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l to be held Dec 8th at HTC

2011-12-08T10:31:00.000-06:00

Thursday, December 8, 2011 7:00 pm

A Shloshim Memorial will be held as we mourn,

together with Klal Yisrael,

the loss of the Gaon and Tzaddik

HaRav Nosson Tzvi Finkel, zt"l

Rosh HaYeshiva

Mir Yeshiva, Yerushalayim

One of the greatest builders of Torah

in our generation

who loved and treated

every talmid like his own child

and every Jew like his brother

Thursday, December 8, 2011 7:00 pm - 8:30 pm

Beis HaMidrash LaTorah

Hebrew Theological College

7135 North Carpenter Road, Skokie

Maspidim

HaRav Avraham Chaim Levin, shlita, Rosh HaYeshiva, Telshe Yeshiva, Chicago

HaRav Avraham Friedman, Rosh HaYeshiva, Beis HaMidrash LaTorah, Skokie

HaRav Aaron Lopiansky, Rosh HaYeshiva, Yeshiva of Greater Washington (brother-in-law of Rav Nosson Tzvi)

HaRav Gedalia Finkel, RaM, Mir Yeshiva, Yerushalayim (brother of Rav Nosson Tzvi)

Men and women invited

Just leave me alone

2011-12-06T22:49:00.001-06:00

Eye catching post title, huh?

(In my best Rod Serling voice) Submitted for your approval, are two links having to do with the topic of being "alone". One is a post with a thought provoking comment thread, from R Gil Student and the other is a link I found was a shiur listed on 613 Commuter (my new favorite blog) from R Eric Goldman LMSW from YU. For my only other three posts on being "lonely" click here.
Being Lonely (TorahMusings.com)
A Torah Hashgafa on Facebook, Texting, and Blogging (The 613 Commuter)

Sunday's self-knowledge question

2011-12-04T11:01:00.001-06:00

Taken from R Zelig Pliskin's book Gateway to Self-Knowledge

Would you have wanted to be treated by your parents the way you treat your children?
(Page 149, Child-Raising question #8)

Reb Moshe and the broken tape recorder

2011-11-30T21:36:00.000-06:00

Royalty free graphic from here

I recently listened to a shiur by Rav Weinberger that was given to a group of women in Waterbury, CT. I think the content, messages, and stories (the "jukim" story, the "Lost Horse", and the "I know the Shephard" story) are similar to a shiur from 2008 posted by Dixie Yid. The shiur, titled "Chinuch & Chanukah: Chinuch with a Heart" actually starts about 50 seconds into the recording and is available here. The shiur revolves around the difference between "teaching" and "giving over" Torah.

Rav Weinberger tells mentions an important article on chinuch that was published in Hakirah, The Flatbush Journal of Jewish Law and Thought by Dr. Aharon Hersh Fried. The article, titled, Is There a Disconnect between Torah Learning and Torah Living? And If So, How Can We Connect Them? A Focus on Middos is available for reading or downloading here.

What follows in my transcription of Rav Weinberger telling over a story that was included in the above mentioned article. Any mistakes in writing down Rav Weinberger's words are mine.

Some years ago, in Rav Reuven Feinstein's yeshiva, there were two boys who had an argument. What happened? Let's call them Reuven and Shimon. Revuen lent his tape recorder to Shimon and Shimon dropped the tape record and it broke. And they were arguing. Revuen said, "I lent you the tape recorder and you broke it. You have to get me a new one."

Shimon says, "It wasn't my fault, it was an accident."

And they were arguing and decided that they would go to the Rosh Yeshiva, which is a good thing. They went to Reb Reuven Feinstein, they went to the Rosh Yeshiva to ask him what's the halacha then. This is what happened. Rav Reuven Feinstein was absolutly astonished by the question. Not with nachas, he was astonished. He said, "You're learning all year since September, your learning the gemara. Everyday you have charts on the blackboard. You're learning the gemara "Bava Metzia" that teaches that when someone borrows something he's responsible when it breaks. If you borrow something you're responsible." Rav Reuven was so distrubed by this. He couldn't understand how's it possible that the boy, how could he not know that? That's all they're learning and they're getting 100s on their tests. שואל חייב באונסין , it's a gemara. It's all over the gemara. If you borrow, you're chai'ev (responsible).

So, he was so upset, Rav Reuven went to his father. He went to Reb Moshe, Zecher Tzaddik V'Kodesh L'Vracha. He went to Reb Moshe and he asked, "How can it be that the boys did not know that?"

So, Reb Moshe said, "Because what they've seen in their lives has no relationship to what they're learning in yeshiva. It's completely irrelevant. They do not see their parents living the lives that they learn in the seforim, nor do they see it so clearly in the yeshiva." That's what Reb Moshe said.

They would never dream of making a connection between what they learned all year and how to practically live. It might have been taught, but it wasn't given over.

Great Mussar for me

2011-11-30T10:05:00.001-06:00

An old friend was sent this graphic and posted it on Facebook. Brilliant and really good mussar for me, since I often find I am facing the wrong book.

The bottom line in Judaism

2011-11-29T14:33:00.001-06:00

On Monday, I finished listening to an amazing shiur from Rabbi Michael Skobac, the Director of Education and Counselling for Jews for Judaism (Canada). The shiur, titled "THE FOREST BEYOND THE TREES: What is Judaism's Bottom Line?" is available for streaming or downloading here.

As Jews, there are things we learn and things that our teachers view as "givens". I remember going though my entire freshman year at Yeshiva University's James Stiar School without being taught the importance of working on oneself (mussar, with a lower-case "m"). It wasn't until my first night seder in a yeshiva in E'Y that I opened Mesillas Yesharim and realized there is a bigger picture than observing mitzvos. It wasn't until I read about a started listening to shiurim on Bilvavi Miskhan Evneh by R Moshe Weinberger and learning the Bilvavi seforim that I understood the importance of building a relationship with our Creator. Unfortunately, I tend to over complicate things. Rabbi Skobac does not. In a clear, understandable way with examples that hit home, his shiur introduces the listeners to the real deal! The reason that Hashem created us and what the big picture is in life for each Jew. Some of the things discussed on the mp3 are based on teachings from the first chapter of Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh vol I and this shuir not only opens up one's soul to those teachings, but allows you to listen to a master educator. Regardless of your affilation or observance, listening to this shiur is an excellent use of 53 minutes.

R Skobac has also authored the following Jews for Judaism publications, available for viewing downloading here:
Missionary Impossible: Counter-Missionary Survival Guide
The Da Vinci Code: A Jewish Perspective

Sunday's Spark of Mussar

2011-11-27T12:32:00.001-06:00

Rav Nosson Zvi Finkel, the Alter of Slabodka

A boy once came with a sullen face. R'Nosson Zvi began to whistle and sing, "Should a person blessed with delights be sad" again and again until the boy was affected by the tune and the boy cheered up.

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

Tomer Devorah shiur #3 now online and no shiur this Sunday

2011-11-25T09:05:00.001-06:00

The third shiur from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago's Tomer Devorah chabura is now online here. That'r right. If you are not working the day after Thanksgiving go ahead and download it or stream it. It's titled "Noseh Avon-Give people time to change" and what R Etan Ehrenfeld ties in from Rabbanu Yonah changed much of how I approach my own middos and avodah. Remember, the chabura will not be meeting this Sunday, as R Ehrenfeld is out of town.

The way Yiddishkeit is transmitted

2011-11-22T16:26:00.001-06:00

Graphic from here

"Yiddishkeit is only transmitted one way, through simcha. It's not transmitted through intimidation."

The quote, isn't mine (but I wish it was). It was said by Dr. Rabbi Jerry Lob, a clinical psychologist in Chicago. These two sentences are actually from a lecture he gave a number of years ago for Priority-1 titled "The Making of a Mentch". The mp3 is available for streaming or downloading here. I look at these everyday when I come into work. My children would probably be better off if I posted them on the back door to read become I come home.

All too often the core values we want to impart, the middos we wish to highlight, and minhagim we wish to give over, and the Toarh we attempt to teach isn't always transmitted through simcha. This really should be a refrigerator magnet and sold as a fundraiser for a school or yeshiva (another good idea of mine that someone will profit from).

Think about it. If teachers would read this before starting their teaching day, our chinuch system might be a little different. If I read this before sitting down for a Shabbos meal, trying to get a child to start their limudei Kodesh homework, or telling my own kids kids to clean their rooms our home would be different. I don't think that showing simcha is the end all cure for all the ills within society, but it has got to be a better option than intimidation.

For more reading about happiness, I will refer you to an article about the Chazon Ish's view of happiness that can be found here.

R Yisrael Salanter's insight and patience with others

2011-11-20T16:53:00.001-06:00

FROM HERE

“Before I started learning Torah, I thought the whole world was deficient except me. After I started learning, I saw that the whole world consisted of sinners including me. Now that I’ve learned some more, I realize I’m a sinner and I must judge the rest of the world favorably.”

"When I first started learning Mussar, I wanted to change the world, but found it was hard to do that, so I tried to change my town. I couldn't change my town, so I tried to change my family. I wasn't able to change my family and finally I realized that I could only change myself."

These quotes are both attributed to R Yisrael Salanter. I know there are other variations out there, as well.

I found myself thinking of these quotes in shul this past Shabbos morning. Why? Because I found myself losing my patience and getting frustrated. It was good thing that this week, thanks to the Tomer Devorah chabura I'm involved with, I've been working on patience/tolerance. We learned that even when a person uses free will and make the choice not to serve Hashem and commit an aveira, Hashem never stops being patient.

My take on both of the "quotes" of R Yisrael Salanter is that it all starts and stops with me. RYS starts off by saying that when he started learning and ends off with how he must judge others and/or change himself.

People will do what they will do and it may go against halacha or what I view as common-sense derech eretz and it stinks, but patience is key. By exercising that middah we emulate Hashem and attach ourselves to him. I know there are many areas that I fall short in, but Hashem's patience with me is everlasting.

That being written, it's not always easy to look the other way, hoping that someone will eventually get a clue. While not a fan of confrontation, I am a fan of finding a proactive way to fix problems that doesn't involve complaining to myself. Sometime, like, now, the only fix is to attempt to set an example, even if I am the only one who notices the effort I put forth in regard to being patient.

Tomer Devorah shiur #2 now online

2011-11-16T22:38:00.001-06:00

The second shiur from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago's Tomer Devorah chabura was just posted online, here. The shiur, "Mi Kel Kamocha, Patience and Anger", discusses the first middah. Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld touches on the importance how Hashem is always patient with us and says over in important teaching from Rav Dessler zt"l. Take a listen and if you're in Chicago, come to Congregation KINS this Sunday and join us from 8pm-9pm!

Recording of R Ephraim Wachsman from Cong. KINS

2011-11-16T22:01:00.001-06:00

This past Sunday in Chicago there were community hespedim for Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel. TorahAnytime.com currently as both video and audio of Rav Ephraim Wachsman's hesped at Congregation KINS, available here. I don't know who took the video, but I appreciate it.

A signature story about Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l

2011-11-14T23:35:00.001-06:00

The following story about Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l is from the hesped given at by Rabbi Aryeh Cohen at the Hebrew Academy of Long Beach. Any mistakes in the transcription are my own. The entire emotional and personal hesped is available at YUTorah.org.

I'll never forget. One day I walked in to speak to him in his house. He was sitting at his table, where he often was, and he has a pile this high, probably five hundred pieces of paper. And they were letters to thank those who came to the Mir Yeshiva dinner for coming and helping out, whatever tzedaka. And he was sitting there signing every single one personally. Every single one, "Nosson Tzvi Finkel". Every one personally. And when I tell you that each one took anywhere between thirty seconds and a minute, it's no exaggeration. It was very hard for him with his Parkinson's and his arms flying to just, it was the way he would write, so until he got his pen down, once he got his pen down he could start, so he would be able to slide and finish that particular line. But, each line took a long time for him to start, sometimes ten, twenty, thirty seconds. Never heard of computer images, of a stamp? Your sending out a mass letter of five hundred letters, maybe more, that was one pile. There might have been more piles. But, the Rosh Yeshiva understood that the chizuk, the inspiration, that each individual gets to have a little bit of a signature of the Rosh Yeshiva, to feel that kesher to the Rosh Yeshiva. I'll tell you, if you talk to anyone who learned in the Mir, they will tell you what they loved most was that kesher to the Rosh Yeshiva.

Also, Dixie Yid transcribed Rav Weinberger's Shabbos drasha this past week that also contained several beautiful stories about Rav Nosson Tzvi and also describes a brief meeting Rav Weinberger had with him...well worth reading.

2nd yahrzeit of my father a"h

2011-11-13T00:28:00.000-06:00

So, tonight marks the second yahrtzeit of my father Al Harris a"h, Avraham ben Zorach. While the picture on the the right might not be the clearest, it was taken on his last visit with us in Chicago, in July of 2009, only three and a half months before he was niftar.

It's funny how the mind works. A few months ago when R.E.M. broke up I had a flashback to my sophomore year in high school. It was a Thursday night in the fall of 1985 and my father was driving me from Wichita, KS to Kansas City- a three our drive. It must had been fairly late at night, because we were listening to Larry King's talk show and he had Michael Stipe (lead singer from R.E.M) on as a guest and there were tons of calls to him about the state of college music. My dad thought it was cool that "my music" was being talked about on the radio. That wasn't the cool part. The really cool part was that my dad was driving me all the way to Kansas City, so that I could catch an Amtrack train to St. Louis to attend an NCSY shabbaton (youth group retreat weekend). He drove me and then drove straight back home.

So, tonight marks the second yahrtzeit of my father Al Harris, Avraham ben Zorach. While the picture on the the right might not be the clearest, it was taken on his last visit with us in Chicago, in July of 2009, only three and a half months before he was niftar.

Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt"l taught the world that it is giving that leads to love, not love that leads to giving. Meaning, that the love we have for another is a natural outcome of our giving to another, of the deeds we perform. Deeds that come from giving, like driving me three hours away to catch a train.

Tomer Devorah shiur #1 now online

2011-11-10T23:38:00.001-06:00

Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld

The first shiur from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago's Tomer Devorah chabura was just posted online, here. The shiur, "V'halachta B'drachav", is based on the the Ramak's intoduction to the sefer and Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld brings in an article from the Rav and Sefer HaMitzvos in helping to understand the how we can be similar to our Creator. It's worth a listen and is a great way to prepare for this Sunday's class at Congregation KINS from 8pm-9pm!

In memory of my father-in-law's 4th yahrtzeit

2011-11-08T22:40:00.001-06:00

Tonight, the 12th of Mar Cheshvon is the 4th yahrtzeit of Dan ben Aharon HaLevi, my father-in-law.

I can't help but think tonight that he would have been thrilled to see how my oldest daughter uses internet-based educational websites to work on spelling, math and reading. He would get a kick out of how my son will use my wife's iPhone and use the Kotel Kam app to see a live feed from Yerushalyim. I know he would laugh till there were tears in his eyes if he saw how my 5 yr old little girl will use my smartphone and check the weather so she knows what shoes to wear in the morning.

When people were not sure what to make of the internet in the early 1990's, he was downloading parsha summaries from chabad.org, sending emails, and printing out Torah material for his shul's newletter.

My kid's Zaidy loved technology, because it kept him young. He was always up on the lastest trends and technologies. It was something I always found impressive. For sure, he'd appreciate the fact that this post was written on my Blackberry, while sitting in a parking lot.

HaRav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l, Howard Schultz and the Holocaust

2011-11-08T09:18:00.002-06:00

In memory of the the Rosh Yeshiva, a great-grandson of the Alter of Slabodka, I'm reposting a "famous" story involving HaRav Nosson Tzvi Finkel z"tl and Howard Schultz, the CEO of Starbucks and a lesson from the Shoah.

The story below, from Am Echad Resources, was written by Howard Schultz (CEO of Starbucks). This article is excerpted from a speech he delivered, and is reprinted courtesy of Hermes Magazine, Fall 2001, a publication of Columbia Business School.
From AM ECHAD RESOURCES:

When I was in Israel, I went to Mea Shearim, the ultra-Orthodox area within Jerusalem. Along with a group of businessmen I was with, I had the opportunity to have an audience with Rabbi Noson Tzvi Finkel, the head of a yeshiva there [Mir Yeshiva]. I had never heard of him and didn't know anything about him. We went into his study and waited 10 to 15 minutes for him. Finally, the doors opened.
What we did not know was that Rabbi Finkel was severely afflicted with Parkinson's disease. He sat down at the head of the table, and, naturally, our inclination was to look away. We didn't want to embarrass him.
We were all looking away, and we heard this big bang on the table: "Gentlemen, look at me, and look at me right now." Now his speech affliction was worse than his physical shaking. It was really hard to listen to him and watch him. He said, "I have only a few minutes for you because I know you're all busy American businessmen." You know, just a little dig there.
Then he asked, "Who can tell me what the lesson of the Holocaust is?" He called on one guy, who didn't know what to do -- it was like being called on in the fifth grade without the answer. And the guy says something benign like, "We will never, ever forget?" And the rabbi completely dismisses him. I felt terrible for the guy until I realized the rabbi was getting ready to call on someone else. All of us were sort of under the table, looking away -- you know, please, not me. He did not call me. I was sweating. He called on another guy, who had such a fantastic answer: "We will never, ever again be a victim or bystander."
The rabbi said, "You guys just don't get it. Okay, gentlemen, let me tell you the essence of the human spirit.
"As you know, during the Holocaust, the people were transported in the worst possible, inhumane way by railcar. They thought they were going to a work camp. We all know they were going to a death camp.
"After hours and hours in this inhumane corral with no light, no bathroom, cold, they arrived at the camps. The doors were swung wide open, and they were blinded by the light. Men were separated from women, mothers from daughters, fathers from sons. They went off to the bunkers to sleep.
"As they went into the area to sleep, only one person was given a blanket for every six. The person who received the blanket, when he went to bed, had to decide, 'Am I going to push the blanket to the five other people who did not get one, or am I going to pull it toward myself to stay warm?'"
And Rabbi Finkel says, "It was during this defining moment that we learned the power of the human spirit, because we pushed the blanket to five others."
And with that, he stood up and said, "Take your blanket. Take it back to America and push it to five other people."

Over 700 postings now labeled

2011-11-06T10:59:00.000-06:00

Photo from here

I've added labels to almost all of my posts. The process has reminded me of those MasterCard ads:

Number of posts labeled "mussar"- 220
Number of posts labeled "personal"- 196

Number of posts labeled "lessons"- 115

Realizing what you mostly write about...
priceless

Palm Trees in Chicago

2011-11-04T08:52:00.000-05:00

Erev Rosh Hashana many shuls in the Chicagoland area received wonderful bookmarks from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel of Chicago. One side of the book mark stated:

Yom Kippur

13 Attributes of Devine Mercy

Forbearing

Welcoming

Patient

Merciful

Gracious

Generous

Forgiving

Faithful

Trustful

Familial

Restrained

Hopeful

Supportive

How can I emulate these Devine

attributes in my life?

Based on Tomer Devorah of

Rabbi Moshe Cordovero, 16th c.

Well, the YU Kollel has an answer to, "How can I emulate these Devine attributes in my life?"
Starting this Sunday, November 6th from 8pm-9pm at Congregation KINS you can join Kollel Fellow Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld and start learning Tomer Devorah. This sefer was first published in 1588 and one of the seminal muusar works.

Personally, I've had a copy of it for years and looked at it from time to time, but never really got into it. I'm very excited about being able to learn ideas from it in an informal setting, such as this chaburah. I hope you'll join me!

Too cool for shul

2011-11-03T20:27:00.002-05:00

This is legit. Found here.

Come on, at one point we're all too cool for shul. I’muber-guily of this, big time!

I use to like being awandering Jew. A weekday minyan nomad,traveling along in a Jack Keroauc-like way, never really staying anywhere toolong. Basing my destination on convenienceand ease of parking.

I was wrong. Part of my wandering was really just becauseI could wander. After spendingalmost 8 years in a one shul city (we lived in Indianapolis from 1998-2006),moving to Chicago was, well like, shul overload. Sort of like getting a shopping spree atSaint Mark’s Sounds (an excellent used cd store in NYC). I am not, Chas v’Shalom, downplaying theimportance, stability, or value of the “one shul town”, but it’s refreshing tohave an option (at times). Living in acity with one shul helps add a strength of community and lets you really get toknow everyone, this cannot be understated (and I somewhat miss that).

So, parshas Bereishis, Ifound myself in the social hall/basement of Rav Moshe Weinberger’s shul, CongregationAish Kodesh, during a moving an uplifting shalosh seudos (I’ve previous bloggedabout the first time I was there for the holy third meal of Shabbos here[insertlink]). I listened, as I heard a messagethat seemed tailor made for me (if you’ve heard R Weinberger in person, youoften think that he’s speaking directly to you) about the importance of makingan effort to daven in “our shul”, as he said. He mentioned that he knows there are many faces that he and the shulonly see on Shabbos Kodesh. Not thatpeople are not going to minyanim during the week, but it’s seems that they tendto davening elsewhere. Rav Weinbergersaid that he understands that people have schedules and trains to catch, but ifyou can figure out a way to go a minyan that not an “18 minute shacharis”, it’sbetter. He also said that when you makea commitment to daven in your shul you add to the kedusha of the shul. This was a very powerful idea.

At that point, I decide, b’lineder, to stop being a wanderer. I havesuccessfully made it to my shul in the mornings (except when I’ve had carpoolresponsibilities) and so far, for mincha or maariv. No more drifting upon the sea of shuls, I’mattempting to anchor myself, finally.

The occasional value of chitzoniyus

2011-11-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

Image from here

Despite the pretentious titleof this post (and this blog), I tend to be more into p’nemiyus (internal) thanchitzoniyus (external). Of course, ideallythe chitzoniyus should really reflect what’s going on behind the scenes. That being written, I’ve been debating for awhile about switching over from blogger to WordPress. The vibe on the web is that those who writeas a hobby use blogger and those who are serious about writing use WordPress. They also have really cool layouts for theirblogs. Another “advantage” (I use theterm loosely) that WordPress has over blogger is that they have an excellentBlackberry application that allows you to do all sorts of nifty things likepost, edit, use italics, etc all from your phone. Blogger allows you to post by sending anemail.

So, I transferred over an olddormant blog from blogger to WordPress and played around a bit. It was fun and I was totally read to takeModern Uberdox and make the jump. As auser of most things Google (gmail, reader, google doc, google music), I decidedto look at blogger’s templates one last time, since I really haven’t looked atthem since starting this blog back in 2006. I was impressed. For sure, not asdiverse or stylish as WordPress but itwas refreshing. So I jumped, withinblogger and now we are rocking a newer design.

I really try to havesimplistic/minimalist views on things. I’mmore interested in how Cherry Coke tastes, than the fact that the company haschanged the graphics on their cans a total of 4 times since the late 80s. However, I understand the need to lookpresentable and the need to change things up from time to time (except withyour spouse’s recipes). If you use thetrapping of chitzoniyus to grow and be a better Jew, then more power to you.

Oh, by the way, I'm attempting to apply labels to all of my posts, starting with the most recent and working backwards.

In memory of Yosef ben Shlomo HaKohen a"h

2011-11-01T10:58:00.001-05:00

I just read the article below (posted with permission from the author) by Rabbi Shafran about Reb Yosef, author of THE UNIVERSAL JEW, entering the Olam HaEmes. I am stunned. His sefer is a favorite of mine and I constantly find myself picking it up (after hearing about the sefer from R Gershon Seif years ago).

A MODERN-DAY PATRIARCH

Rabbi Avi Shafran
The first notice, shortly before Rosh Hashana, came from "Tehilla." The subject box of the e-mail read: "Baruch Dayan HaEmet/URGENT, YOSEF PASSED AWAY!" and the message began: "I can't believe this rabbi. I can't believe he has left us. He was so concerned for me and my family…."
Tehilla is not her real name. She is a non-Jewish resident of a Muslim country, and is married to a Hindu man. But she is a "Noahide," a person who has accepted the Torah's universal "Seven Commandments" for humankind. In fact, she studies the works of, among others, the Chofetz Chaim, and pines for the day for when her adult sons, who are following in her path, will find wives ready to do the same. And for Moshiach's arrival.
Yosef was Yosef ben Shlomo Hakohen, an American-born Jewish returnee to Judaism (his original family name was Oboler) who lived in Bayit Vegan, Jerusalem, and who made it his life's work to bring Jews closer to their heritage and to be a source of encouragement and direction to non-Jews who have found their way to realizing the Torah's truth.
And so the anguish at Yosef's unexpected passing was felt not only by Tehilla but by countless people around the world, in the strangest of places, who had benefitted from his writing—and, in many cases, his personal interaction with them.
I never had the honor of meeting Yosef in person but knew him from numerous electronic conversations we had. He was a remarkable man. In fact, I had begun asking him about his background and work, hoping one day to make him the subject of an Ami interview. Now, sadly, I can share only the few facts I came to garner; and, incomparably sadder still, not in an interview but an obituary.
Yosef, the child of leftist social activists, discovered Torah in his youth and was captivated by a deep desire to reach out to Jews who shared his parents' convictions, to help them better understand the true raison d'etre of the Jewish nation. "I wanted," he wrote me, "to help them to understand that it is through the study and fulfillment of the Torah that we make our contribution towards a better world."

In 1995, Feldheim published Yosef's "The Universal Jew: Letters To a Progressive Father From His Orthodox Son," telling the tale of his parents' dedication to the poor and underprivileged, and about his own personal journey, which led him to dedicate his own life to outreach. The following year, in a Jewish Observer article entitled "And He shall turn the Hearts of the Fathers to the Sons," Yosef reprised some of that story. And he established "Hazon—Renewing Our Universal Vision," a study program/Internet resource that touched untold numbers of hearts and minds.
In one of his many communications to his followers, Yosef quoted Rav Avrohom Yoffen, zt"l, the Rosh Yeshiva of Bais Yosef-Novardok, as noting the significance of the fact that our forefather Avrohom is the archetype of both kindness toward others and intolerance for idolatry. The latter, he explains, is based on a belief that various forces in nature are in competition with one another. That antagonism, he continued, is paralleled in, and connected to, human beings' alienation from one another. Avrohom Avinu embraced lovingkindness to counter that disaffection, and he fought idolatry to undermine its root cause.
That well describes Yosef's life-mission itself.
On Yom Kippur, "Tehilla" lit a yahrzeit candle for Yosef, who left no blood-relatives.

I remember how she expressed her feelings about meeting and corresponding with Yosef and other Jews who have offered her encouragement and guidance. "With all the sufferings [the world has] inflicted on you all," she once wrote, "I still cannot fathom how magnanimous you all are in being a light to all nations.
"After meeting your people [by e-mail], I cannot understand how such a warm, compassionate and humane people can be so persecuted and so misunderstood.
"All I can pray is when Hashem decides it's time for all your sufferings to be over, He will show us Gentiles the compassion we failed to show you all."
"Soon G-d is going to say 'enough' to your tears…"
And to hers as well, may the day come soon.

© 2011 AMI MAGAZINE
[Rabbi Shafran is an editor at large and columnist for Ami Magazine]
The above essay may be reproduced or republished, with the above copyright appended.
Communications: rabbishafran@amimagazine.org

To receive essays like the one above when they first appear, as well as other columns I write, like"Gleanings" (a synopsis of some unusual media articles from the previous week with poignant comments appended) and "News and Analysis" (a detailed treatment of a recent news story) – not to mention a wealth of other interesting reading – subscribe to Ami at http://amimagazine.org/subscribe.html .

Learn one of seforim that inspired R Yisrael Salanter starting Nov 6th in Chicago

2011-10-30T12:28:00.001-05:00

New chaburah/group learning starting Nov 6th. Come learn the sefer Tomer Devorah with Rabbi Etan Ehrenfeld (from the YU Torah Mitzion Kollel) and discover how to emulate the traits of Hashem!
First published in 1588, Tomer Devorah is a classic kabbalistic and mussar sefer. In 1858 R Yisrael Salanter republished it to include the first appearance of his, now famous, Iggeres HaMussar.
Starting next Sunday, Nov 6, 8PM-9PM at Congregation KINS in West Rogers Park, Chicago. Please feel free to email me for details: neilsharris@gmail.com

Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks on how to daven

2011-10-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday, October 26th the Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks spoke in Chicago at Congregation K.I.N.S. A link to the audio and a transcript can be found here.

Here's an amazing story he told over (from the transcript):

I don’t know if you know this, the Rebbe before he became the LubavitcherRebbe, ran the publishing house of Chabad, Kehot. He always used to typography anduse signals that would tell the apprentice how to make a change. Somebody had written him a letter, “I need theRebbe’s help. I’m depressed, I’m miserable, I find life has no meaning. I pray and it doesn’t affect me, I do mitzvosand I don’t feel change – I need the Rebbe’s help.” And the Rebbe gave him the most brilliantreply and he did not use a single word. Youknow what he did? He just ringed the firstword in every sentence. What was the firstword? I. If all that matters to you is the “I,” you will never find happiness. And that, I discovered, is the secret of Kohelet’sunhappiness. Remember what he says? Asiti, kaniti, baniti li, asafti li. Everything –I built for myself, I bought for myself, I gathered for myself. There is no book in the whole of Tanach whichuses the first person singular that often. And if you use the first person singular, if all that matters is I, you willnever be happy. And what happened in ourgeneration? I really intend no disrespectto the memory of a wonderful man, Steve Jobs. He was a wonderful man. Be we arethe 1---generation. We have the iPad,the iPhone, the iTunes, the iPlayer, ich veis nisht, everything is I I I. No wonder we’re miserable. And the resultis that we have to use davening, to thank Gd for what we have and to be awareof something bigger than ourselves.

This hit me hard. Just this morning during "Shema Koleinu" I know that I threw in some "I's" like, "I want to be closer to you, Hashem." Instead I should have said, "Please Hashem, let me be closer to you."

For a personal post from someone who attended the event, see this.

As heard on parshas Bereishis (Genesis) from Rav Moshe Weinberger

2011-10-27T22:27:00.001-05:00

This past Shabbos Bereishis I was at Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, NY (well, actually I was there starting on Hoshannah Rabbah and just got back very early Thursday morning) and wanted to share a small part of what remember from Rav Moshe Weinberger’s Shabbos drasha. I take all responsibility for any mistakes and lack of fully explaining any ideas given over by Rav Weinberger.

Rav Weinberger started off mentioning that from Rosh Chodesh Elul until Hoshannah Rabbah we have 51 days. He then quoted the 4th pasuk from the 4th perek of Bereishis:

4. And Abel he too brought of the firstborn of his flocks and of their fattest, and the Lord turned to Abel and to his offering.
ד וְהֶבֶל הֵבִיא גַם-הוּא מִבְּכֹרוֹת צֹאנוֹ, וּמֵחֶלְבֵהֶן; וַיִּשַׁע יְהוָה, אֶל-הֶבֶל וְאֶל-מִנְחָתוֹ.

The pasuk says “Hevel haivee gam hu” to teach us that Hevel didn’t just bring his karbon, but he brought gam hu "also him[self]", giving 100% of who he was.
If you give someone a present, just to be yotzei by giving a gift, it’s isn’t as personal and meaningful as really putting thought i, ento giving someone a present, thereby giving part of yourself to another person. The greatness of Hevel was that he gave himself over to Hakodesh Baruch Hu. Much in the same way that Avraham intended for Yitzchak to be a karbon and, in fact, Chazal teach that even it was as if Yitzchak himself became the karbon.

Rav Weinberger then said he had a machshava based on the 1st pasuk in the 2nd perek of Koheles:
1. I said to myself, "Come now, I will mix [wine] with joy and experience pleasure"; and behold, this too was vanity.
א אָמַרְתִּי אֲנִי בְּלִבִּי, לְכָה-נָּא אֲנַסְּכָה בְשִׂמְחָה וּרְאֵה בְטוֹב; וְהִנֵּה גַם-הוּא, הָבֶל.

Rav Weinberger noted that again we have almost the same loshon of gam hu havel as in the pasuk in Bereishis. If I recall correctly, we can replace "havel" with "Hevel", and see again that we have to give of ourselves when severing Hashem. with joy and pleasure.

He concluded by saying that a person can spend those 51 days between Rosh Chodesh Elul and Hoshannah Rabbah going those the actions offering up karbonos of Selichos, mikvah, teshuva, davening, mussaf, al chaits, living in the sukkah, saying hallel, shaking our lulavim and esrogim, and performing hoshannos, but if we are not prepared to fully give ourselves, "gam hu", then it's as if we aregive a present in a haft-hearted way and not fully giving a karbon to Hashem in the most beautiful way possible. We each have to give of ourselves to Hashem. That's what he wants from us.

Your Hulu is more treif than my Starbuck's iced latte

2011-10-16T09:00:00.001-05:00

This isn't a rant. Those who know which time zone I am was in for the first days, however, will probably get what I am saying.
One of the messages within the Arba Minim is that of achdus, coming together for the sake of a mitzvah, and realizing that each element (or person) is important to Knesses Yisrael.
So, if someone let's their kids watch ANYTHING on Hulu, but gives a guy who gets an iced latte after minyan at Stop&Shop a "shmooze" about cholov Yisrael then it's really no surprise why we are still waiting for Moshiach.
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Hisbodedus (transcribed)

2011-10-10T16:35:00.001-05:00

Thank you Hashem for showing me that you are truly the one who arranges everything.

The Rav and the Rebbe

2011-10-09T12:30:00.001-05:00

Published in Song of Teshuva, a commentary on Rav Kook's Oros HaTeshuvah by Rav Moshe Weinberger and adapted by Yaacov Dovid Shulman.

Rav Weinberger tells over the following story (pages 134-135):

When Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik went to a farbregen (a Chassidic gathering) on the occasion of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's eightieth birthday, he was very impressed by the Rebbe's brilliance and erudition. But on the the way home, Rav Soloveitchik said that there was one thing with which he did not agreee. When he offered the Rebbe a l'chaim (a toast), the Rebbe said, "Now the descendants of R. Chaim Volozhiner and the family of the Baal HaTanya have come together." Rav Soloveitch said that this was not true. They had come together earlier, when Hitler had put the Chassid and the misnaged (the opponent of Chassidism) together in the same oven. That was when we realized that there is no difference between one Jew and another.

It should not take someone who hates and persecutes the Jewish people to remind us that there is no difference between Jews on the level of the soul. We must appreciate that the sould of every Jew is inseparable from the Congregation of Israel.

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Rav Frand on the how to disagree and the paradigm of unity

2011-10-06T10:20:00.001-05:00

InRav Frand’s Teshuva drasha for this year (recorded live in Los Angeles on thefirst night of Selichos and available for purchase here), he discussed the needfor unity on Yom Kippur and gave over an amazing story about Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld andRav Avraham Yitzchak Kook, who both had very different ways of viewing both the state of Israel (at the timecalled Palestine), the Jews who lived there, and secular education.

RavFrand said:

WhenRav Kook and Rav Sonnenfeld went to the little communities, the little kubutzimup in the north, where they [the residents] ate chazair treif, they went together to bring people back toYiddishkeit. Baalei Machloches- they heldeach other were wrong, but they worked together. They disagreed without being disagreeable andwe have not learned to do that. When wedisagree, you’re invalid, not entitled to your opinion. Their vehement machloches never devolved in animosity. Youknow, Rav Kook and Rav Yosef Chaim Sonnenfeld were once invited to a bris. Rav Yosef Chaim was to be the mohel and RavKook was supposed to be the zandek and they got to the shul at the sametime. Rav Yosef Chaim insisted that RavKook go in first, because he was a cohen. Rav Kook insisted that Rav Yosef Chaim should go in, because he was abigger person. And they stood at thedoor frozen, they wouldn’t go until Rav Kook noticed that it was a double doorand the left portion of the door was locked. He reached in beside and pulled down the thing and they opened both doorssimultaneously and they went in together. That’s the paradigm [to how we should behave].

Theentire shiur, Teshuva2011 - Conflict Resolution: Within Our Community and Within Ourselves, is available for purchase and downloading on the Yad Yechiel website.

Any inaccuracies in this transcription are mine. This is posted in zechus of a refuah shelayma for Reuven ben Tova Chaya and Miriam Orit bas Devorah.

Excerpt from "Song of Teshuva

2011-09-25T16:48:00.001-05:00

The excerpt below is from, Song of Teshuva, a commentary on Rav Kook's Oros HaTeshuvah by Rav Moshe Weinberger and adapted by Yaacov Dovid Shulman.

The currents of teshivah- of the individual and of the community- surge forward.

This image of teshuvah as a flowing river comes from a passage in the Zohar: "There is a hidden place, which is the depth of the well. And from it rivers and springs stream to every direction. And that deepest of all depths is called teshuvah" (Acharei Mos 70).

A related idea is coveyed in by the fact that the Hebrew word for "river", nakhal, is an acronym of the phrase, "nafsheinu khiksa laShem- "our soul hopes for Hashem" (Tehillim 33:20).

The currents of teshuvah flow- within the individual, community and the entire Jewish people- in the form of an inclination to chagne and improve.

Thus, the Gemara teaches that every day a heavenly echo calls out, "Return to God" (Pirkei Avos 6:2 and Hagigah 15a). The Baal Shem Tov explains that this echo is not a loud proclamation, but our inner awareness of teshuvah calling to us.
Rav Kook believed that despite its many detours and difficulties, the world is spiritually improving, and he refused to accept a dark, negative and pessimistic outlook. He saw this return to God as being woven into the very texture of the universe. This view is not unique to Rav Kook. Thus, when people told the R. Yisrael Meir Kagen, the Chofetz Chaim, that the Balfour Declaration marked the beginning of the redemption, he demurred and replied that Creation itself marked the beginning of redemption. (Pages 106-107)

Tehillim needed for 22 month old girl

2011-09-23T17:21:00.001-05:00

Sadly, a 22-month-old girl, Miriam Orit bas Devorah, was diagnosed last night with a serious illness. Please daven for her. Her parents are involved with kiruv and this little girl needs klal Yisrael's help.
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Shiur by Rav Weinberger on Elul, posted at yutorah.org

2011-09-16T00:03:00.000-05:00

YUTorah.org just posted a shiur given by Rav Moshe Weinberger on September 12, 2011.
The shiur "Achas Shaalti-Elul" is available to listen to or download here.

Do I really have to wake up?

2011-09-12T12:27:00.005-05:00

Find my answer here, at BeyondBT.com.

Good links for Elul

2011-09-01T20:23:00.003-05:00

So, it officially Elul. Here are a few links you might like.

Rabbi Micha Berger just started writing about the sefer Shaarei Yosher by Rav Shi'mon Sh'kop (who was the rebbe of Reb Dovid Lifshitz).

Rabbi Revuen Brand, Rosh Kollel of the YU Torah MitzionKollel of Chicago has a great shiur available to listen to or download titled, The Character of Elul.

Also, Elul wouldn't be Elul with posting a link to "Elul in Slabodka".

"His final Mitzvah"

2011-08-31T20:13:00.002-05:00

Wow. I read this article (thanks to a fellow AishDas member) to my 11 yr old son and couldn't get throught it without crying. Maybe it's me, maybe it's Elul, maybe I'm just getting older. Now I know what being selfless is all about. Please read "His final Mitzvah".

Elul: Over-thinking vs. simplifying things

2011-08-30T22:42:00.000-05:00

Found here

There are those posts that are fun to write and flow out of my mind to my keyboard like cold grape flavored Crystal Light going down my throat on a hot summer day. There are also those posts that seem like the four teaspoons of cough medicine that tastes awful, but you know that you really have to just take it so that you’ll feel better. This is one of those.

I recently spent a number of days with my family on a mini-vacation (nothing too exotic, since we only drove three hours from Chicago) and my wife pointed out that I tend to complicate decisions by over-thinking things, instead of striving to make things simple. As usual, she’s right. Instead of deciding what to have for lunch, for example, I found myself chesboning what I would be eating later, what snacks I might want, etc. based on if my lunch was to be fleishig, milchig, or parve.

It’s sort of the trap that Rav Moshe Weinberger often refers to as “eating from the eitz ha’daas tov v’ra" (I most recently heard this referenced on his Bilvavi I, shiur #9 mp3, but he has also mentioned it in his Oros HaTeshuva shiurim, as well as on Shavuos night a number of years ago). The idea behind this is phrase is that we often over-intellectualize issues, actions, and decisions. For example, let’s say that you see a friend and what to say, “Hi. How’s it going?” If you start hemming about if you really should say “Hi” to your friend, what if he’s in a bad mood, or if you really even care how he’s doing, then you are eating from the eitz ha’daas tov v’ra. You are making a simple thing way to complicated.

As I think about a writing project I took upon myself a number of months ago, I see that I haven't gotten as far as I wanted, because I was very concerned about "crafting" my writing style to the point that it has prevented me from the real act of working on the body of the project. I'm not saying that it's not important to contemplate things and think out things, but I am beginning to see that at times my own over-thinking gets in the way of both progression and potenial.

So here I am, hoping not to really give this topic too much thought and, simply (pun intended), change my ways. Since it’s Rosh Chodesh Elul, I’m figure that I’ve got this month to try to catch myself over-thinking and tell myself, “Stop and get simple". I guess this is easier written than done. However, Elul itself, is full of simplicity. We have guidelines on how to do teshuva, we listen every morning to the simple sound of the shofar, and with school starting for my kids, I'm reminded that a new year and a fresh start are upon me.

As an aside, I found a great shiur from Rav Tzvi Aryeh Rosenfeld zt’l, a pioneer in Breslov chassidus in America and E”Y (and also a talmid of Rav Avraham Yaffen, the son-in-law of the Alter of Novardok and Rosh Yeshiva Beis Yosef Yeshivah in Brooklyn) online about Simplicity that I have found quite helpful.

Mussaf davening on cruise-control

2011-08-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

Text from here

On Shabbos, I will often catch davening on cruise-control when it comes to these words. It's a habit that started when I was twelve and I was preparing for my Bar Mitzvah. In fact, I use to pride myself on being able to say all of "Yekam Purkon" in under 23 seconds from the bimah. Sadly, my that I was "the big cheese" being able to memorize this paragraph, without even knowing what it meant in English.

Like I said, even now, I will have to stop myself during musaf and consciously take time to read the Hebrew carefully and also translate the tefillos. As I creep closer to Elul, I can feel both the excitement and the yirah (in a good way) that being on cruise-control just won't cut it!

Sunday's nibble from Novaradok

2011-08-21T15:44:00.004-05:00

Rav Yosef Yozel Hurwitz, the Alter of Novaradok said:
The worst thing that can happen to a person is to remain asleep and and untamed.

Sunday's Salanter selection

2011-08-14T11:04:00.001-05:00

R Yisrael Salanter would say:
"Your heart is a private domain but your face is public domain."
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Rav Weinberger's commentary on Oros(t) HaTeshuva now in book form

2011-08-12T08:09:00.003-05:00

Black hat tip to R Reuven Boshnack.

Perfect for Elul and Tishrei! I have been a teleconferencing Rav Weinberger's Oros Ha'Teshuva shiurim forever, it seems. They were my Friday morning companion for the eight years I lived in Indianapolis and after that, too. Thanks to Reb Yaakov Dovid Shulman, the commentary of Rav Weinberger has now become available in book form. Oros Ha'Teshuva is not (for me) easy to learn just on it's on. Like most of what Rav Weinberger teaches, his ability to clarify ideas and bring them home to our level is a gift. My copy is ordered already.

From the publisher's website:

Includes the original Hebrew text of Oros HaTeshuvah, a new translation into English by Yaacov Dovid Shulman, and commentary from Rabbi moshe Weinberger.

“Teshuvah – repentance – does not come to embitter life but to sweeten it.”

HaRav Avraham Yitzchak HaKohen Kook wrote these inspiring words in Oros HaTeshuvah, a work in which he delivers the message that teshuvah is not a somber process of self-deprivation but a joyful journey back to Hashem and to the core of who we are.

When Oros HaTeshuvah was published in 1925, it was immediately accepted as a classic of Jewish thought and hailed for its brilliance of ideas, warmth of feeling, depth of psychological insight, holiness of spirit and mastery of Torah knowledge.

However, because of the difficulty of its language and the profusion of its exalted concepts, Oros HaTeshuvah has remained for many a sealed book.

Now Rav Moshe Weinberger, Mara D’Asra of Congregation Aish Kodesh in Woodmere, New York, has composed a commentary that reveals the treasures embedded within Oros HaTeshuvah. Based on an extensive knowledge of Jewish philosophical and inspirational literature, Rav Weinberger’s commentary is profound, moving and fresh, richly explicating Oros HaTeshuvah’s ideas in a clear and accessible but not superficial manner. His masterful expositions on a variety of topics (such as the difference between depression and a broken heart) are both lucid and invigorating.

This book will fulfill the hopes of those who are looking for a holy text written in a contemporary style that will inspire them to renew their spiritual passions, strengthen their religious commitments and energize their personal growth.

Place your order here or contact your local seforim store.

A Day to Disconnect

2011-08-09T22:15:00.002-05:00

Ohr Naava has come up with an awesome free program for those of us who are uber-connected to technology called a "Day to Disconnect" on October 22, 2011.

From their website:
A Day to Disconnect is a worldwide movement, spearheaded by Rabbi Zechariah Wallerstein of Ohr Naava, which will take place on October 2, 2011. On that day thousands of people will voluntarily unplug their gadgets for some time – an hour, two or even all day. During this time, those who chose to disconnect will take pleasure in cherished relationships be it spouses, children, family, self or Gd.
Our goal is accumulate a total of one million hours. Can you imagine the impact of thousands of people choosing to disconnect their phones for an hour?
Can you visualize the amount of good accomplished during this time? Can you feel the impact of couples taking a walk together basking in nature and fully focused on one another? Can you see the glee in the hearts of the children who share their dreams, hopes and fears with honestly attentive parents? Can you see the intensity of the laugh lines on grandparents' faces as they passionately share stories of yesteryear uninterrupted by texting? Can you imagine an hour without obsessively checking your cell for messages?
An hour where you feel present in the moment, an hour to close your eyes and be transported by the intricacies in a piece of music, an hour to communicate with our hearts, an hour of peace? Can you visualize the creativity and power that will be unleashed?
The possibilities are truly awesome.

I'm using my time (I picked three hours, but you can pick one) to spend time with my kids.
Who will you spend your hour with?

Sunday's mussar message

2011-08-07T13:54:00.002-05:00

We often rush to our our old solutions, oblivious to the fact that our problems are the new ones.

-Rabbi Shraga Silverstein (A Candle by Day)

Factoring in breakage

2011-08-03T22:43:00.004-05:00

Photo from here

Part of my previous career involved working as a mashgiach for an "out-of-town" vaad ha'kashrus. I logged many hours and late night checking and counting dishes and silverware. I spent a good deal of time speaking with many caterers and learned a few things about the business.

Whenever you work with a caterer or a banquet hall and there are fees for "dish rental" involved, it's the industry rule that the price for the dishes factors in the fact that there will be some breakage involved and subsequent replacement of the items. Every caterer know that a dish, glass, or fork won't make it back to it's proper home at the end of the event. The cost to the client for dish rental reflects the replacement of said items.

As we inch closer to Tisha B'Av it's easy to forget that Hashem has factored in the breakage of the two most sacred buildings ever constructed and allows us each opportunities and avenues to replace what was lost.

Recipe hunt: Pinati's fish

2011-08-03T14:09:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite places in Jerusalem to get a bit of food was Pinati on King George. Since it's the 9 days, I am asking if anyone has their recipe for fish with that yummy tomato-based sauce.

Sunday's Salanter Saying

2011-07-31T11:15:00.001-05:00

Attributed to R Yisrael Salanter:
"People say: If you cannot pass, you must return. We say: If you cannot pass, you must pass."
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The middah of chillaxing and coffee

2011-07-26T15:04:00.002-05:00

I have always looked for places to recharge, to think, toread, to relax. Not so much because mylife is so chaotic, but because I value the middah of chillaxing (which falls somewhere between yeshuv hadaas andmenucha). This is probably a leftoverhabit from my high school days. I lovedhanging out in used book stores and pretty much anywhere that offeredbottomless cups of coffee. After highschool when I lived NYC, I also soughtoutdoors/nature type locations where I could just sit for a while andthink/meditate/hisbodedus (of course that can be done anywhere). When trying to chillax, the constant wasalways coffee. I inherited from myfather a’h a love of good coffee and the joy of searching foroff-the-beaten-derech places. It’s theslacker in me that loves sitting with a cup of something caffeinated and asefer.

Speaking of coffee, I know I’m in the minority amongbloggers, but the cRc’s “Starbucks beverage guidelines” have only helped me inmy search for a great place to chill-out with an iced beverage. For me, it only really means giving up icedcoffee at some places and I’m fairly open to their recommendations.

When I lived in NYC I had a close friend and we would trekall over Manhattan checking out coffee joints. For me, places that we liked fell into one of two categories: spots I would recommend to others and thosefew places that I’d keep to myself and not even take a date to until I knewthat I’d marry her (for fear that if we stopped dating she would tell herfriends about the coffee bar and then it would become frequented by other frumpeople).

My most recent search in Chicago has brought me to across-roads that I often think about. Allegiance to the spirit of the independent coffee bar versus the consistency of a corporation. The inner post-punk in me loves the feel andlook of an independent store. However, it only takes one bad drink torealize and appreciate the uniformity and reliability that is offered by a“chain” of big green Starbucks locations. I am all for non-chain places, but there’s a comfort and reassuringfeeling of going to a big green. Sort oflike when you enter a new shul and find a familiar siddur or chumash, you feelmore at ease. Chicago happens to fit both bills. With some web-base hunting, I’ve found someinteresting locations to grab an iced latte. That’s the good news. The badnews, is that a majority of the places with high reviews are not open past 8pm. Granted, being married with kids, ifI am out past 9PM it usually means I’m grocery shopping or at minyan, but latehours is key for a coffee bar. Chicago,being the first city outside of Seattle to have Starbucks locations, also hasplenty of locations all over open until, at least, 9 PM.

The need to spend time alone and without seeing people thatI know is something that I tend to value. Don’t get me wrong, I love people and can pretty much talk to anyone,but being by myself (with something to read) every once in a while is somethingthat I appreciate it. I know manypeople who “veg out” in front of the TV or unwind by going online (I’m guiltyof this, too), but I find more of a lasting value in sitting in the shade at apark, biking, or inside somewhere drinking an iced beverage and turning pagesevery few minutes.

Years ago, I dreamt of opening up a slick coffee bar (underan acceptable hechshar, of course). Itwould have various sefrei machshava available for the customers, offer aretreat from the hectic daily routine, be semi-family friendly, double as a performancespace, be an acceptable location for high school aged kids to hang out, be “Jewish”enough for non-orthodox Jews, but not too “Jewish”, and offer informal learningin a laid back environment. The floorwould be unfinished, there would be a minimum of one wall with exposed brick, theceiling would have pipes and free hanging lighting, Reb Shomo playing softlyover the sound system , and if you opened the front door for someone, you bepaid with a “Thank you”.

Alas, I’m happy these days to find someplace with freeparking and no annoying music.

The need to spend time alone and without seeing people thatI know is something that I tend to value. Don’t get me wrong, I love people and can pretty much talk to anyone,but being by myself (with something to read) every once in a while is somethingthat I appreciate it. I know manypeople who “veg out” in front of the TV or unwind by going online (I’m guiltyof this, too), but I find more of a lasting value in sitting in the shade at apark, biking, or in this case, inside somewhere drinking an iced beverage and turning pagesevery few minutes. A throwback to my more carefree days, probably. I look at it like a retreat, like Shabbos or being in a Sukkah. A temporary recharge.

Bike Helmets offered to Chicago residents

2011-07-26T12:24:00.001-05:00

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"Making an empty space for new thought"

2011-07-25T14:49:00.002-05:00

Photo from here

The sefer Da Es Nafshecha teaches the following:

When Hashem created the world, He first created an empty space to allow room for the world to exist. This can be compared to making the preparations require to erect a building. First, a large hole must be dug in order to lay a foundation; otherwise, the building won't last. In fact, the deeper the foundation, the more stable the building will be. So too, when a person wants to access the foundation of his thought, he must first access the empty space that is the place for the foundations. This empty space is the source of our thoughts.

Often in Jewish meditation writings (based on Torah-true sources) the phrase "empty tge mind" is used. Base on this teaching, I think my own approach of mentally clearing out the garage or warehouse isn't really the goal. Looking below the surface and clearing out the foundation should be my starting point.

Weight Watchers and mussar

2011-07-15T10:57:00.013-05:00

About four weeks ago I took the plunge and joined Weight Watchers. I had joined once before, back in 2004 (when we lived in Indianapolis) and had lost twenty pounds. Since then I had done a fairly good job of keeping fourteen of those off, but since my father a’h has passed away (just over a year and a half ago) I have put on that weight back on and finally got sick of it. I’ve been slowly losing weight every week and have also changed what I’ve been eating, such as introducing these weird things people refer to as fruits and vegetables. I attempt to be the kind of guy who extracts as many lessons as I can from things I experience and here are a few thoughts regarding Weight Watchers and mussar.

Tracking- With Weight Watchers, all food/beverages have point values (now it’s called Point Plus). Having a written or digital record or what you eat helps you see your habits offers accountability. As a person who as practiced the technique of Cheshbon HaNefesh (making an accounting of your soul and daily activities, struggles, and successes) on and off for almost 20 years this isn’t new to me, which is why I don’t mind “tracking” (many in Weight Watchers can’t stand tracking). Seeing where you spend your points, what difficulties you have during the day, or even what food victories you’ve had helps give you a feeling of accomplishment. Being able to go back and look at what was difficult in previous weeks helps you learn and focus on future goals.

Everything counts- Foods and beverages have values (as mentioned above). Water is zero points, so are pears, apples, cauliflower, carrots, etc. I am allocated a specific number of points per day. How I choose to gain those points, is my choice. This has allowed me to understand that there are trade-offs. For example, if I want to use four points, do I get more energy and nutrition from a 4 point shot of bourbon or a four point granola bar? I haven’t given up a l’chaim after kiddush on Shabbos morning, but I understand it’s spending points and there is a trade off. This got me thinking about mitzvos. We are taught not to ascribe a value/reward for a mitzvah against another mitzvah, because we don’t know its value. Conversely, when it comes to those actions that move us away from Kedusha (holiness) and our Creator we don’t know what the negative value is. Things are not always what they seem. A small piece of candy might have four points, while a large apples is still zero points. The apple is, by far, a healthier choice and give one more energy. A seemingly trivial mitzvah in our eyes might have a huge value to our creator, even it the “point value” is zero.

Ratzon- I have found that being more watchful of what I eat and drink has helped me focus on what I want vs. what I need. Just this past Monday I was in a grocery store and went through a moral battle regarding if I really wanted a piece of fried chicken. I had already cheshboned the point value and I knew, based on what I was planning to eat for dinner, that I had the extra points available to “spend” on that perfectly crispy fried little chicken leg. I bought it. It sat in my car for the ride home and it’s currently in the fridge. I didn’t need it. I wanted it, but didn’t need it. Had I been the better man, I wouldn’t have spent the $1.29 for it. However, I’m realizing that it’s a choice. This is real free will. Rav Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler zt’l has a whole teaching about something called the “bechira-point”, which explains that there are specific challenges that allow us to truly exercise the God-given gift of free will. His example is in regard to observing Shabbos. If you have been keeping the laws of Shabbos for a number of years (or your whole life) then you really have no urge to flick on a light if it’s dark in a room. Your soul understands that this isn’t what Hashem wants you to do, so there’s really no showing of free will with this. You might have had to struggle with this in the past, but as time moved on your bechira (free will) moved from being a choice, to being a habit. As such, your bechira-point has moved. I knew that my habits were changing two weeks ago, when I opted to buy an apple for a snack instead of a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup (my all time favorite candy) because the candy was 6 points and I accepted that at the time I didn’t need it. In the sefer Da Es Nafshecha, Rabbi Itmar Shwartz has a whole chapter on ratzon and actually give the example of the desire to eat come chicken. As it turns out, I didn’t read this until two days my incident with the fried chicken.

Getting on the scale- Every week, as part of Weight Watchers, you weigh in. This is your official weight for the week. Now I’ve observed that people weigh in differently. Some take off their shoes, empty their pockets, take off eye glasses, etc. I get it, they want to be the lightest they can be, because the scale doesn’t lie, it’s fairly final for that week. Rabbi Akiva Tatz mentions in LIVING INSPIRED the idea (based on teaching of Rav Dessler zt’l) when you start Shabbos Kodesh and also when you are niftar (pass away) that whatever madrega (level) you are in terms of holiness and perfections is frozen during that time period. If you are on level 6 (based on a scale of 1-10) when Shabbos starts or when you go to the next word, then that’s your level for that period. You can’t change it. Sort of like the weight that’s reported on the scale. This is why it’s suggested to weigh around the same time each week. Your weekly weight is the point of reference for either gaining or losing for the next week.

Influencing others- I find it fascinating that slowly, thanks to my wife, our family is adapting to my new eating habits. There are basically two ways to be mash’piah (influence) others, actively or passively. It’s recommended that I eat five servings of fruit day. Four weeks ago I started with one (going from one serving a week, on a good week) and I’m currently up to three servings. By the time I come home from work (or a Weight Watchers meeting) my kids are home from camp they are starving. Immediately after joining Weight Watchers I attempted to actively influence them by suggesting that if they are hungry they should have some fruit or drink a glass of water (or Crystal Light). Their basic response was, “You packed us an apple for our lunch already. We want a real snack.” I decided then and there not to suggest fruit and use the passive approach. Instead, when I felt hungry, I would mention it and then proceed to grab some fruit to snack on and make sure my kids saw me do it. After doing this for exactly a week, I noticed that my son also started “snacking” on an apple at home when he was hungry. Children are much more observant than we give them credit for. They notice everything and sometimes just being a good example can influence them.

You can’t do it alone- OK, some people probably can, but getting reinforcement from discussions with leaders and peers can’t hurt. Rabbi Yisrael Salanter knew this over 150 years ago. He and his students (and their students) innovated such revolutionary ideas like a Beis HaMussar (a small dwelling or room where one can practice mussar techniques and discuss ideas in privacy) and mussar vaadim (a group or chabura that would get together on a regular basis to work on a specific character trait or mussar teaching). They would chant, discuss text regarding the subject of the day and share their feelings and report on their success and challenges during the previous week. This is pretty much what happens at a Weight Watchers meeting (and any “fill in the blank” Anonymous meeting).

For me, the similarities between what is part and parcel of Weight Watchers and what I’ve learned from Mussar seem to fit together like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (which has a Points Plus value of nine).

Ohel's advice

2011-07-13T16:26:00.005-05:00

This was posted on Ohel's website

ADVICE TO PARENTS ON HOW TO TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT THE TERRIBLE TRAGEDY OF THE MURDER OF LEIBY – A 9 YEAR OLD BOY IN BROOKLYN

Everyone is horrified by the events of the past two days and that a young child walking home could be abducted and murdered. How do we explain this to our children? How do we help them, and for that matter ourselves, make sense of this?
It is important to have an age-appropriate conversation with your children. Children may hear information which often is incomplete and even erroneous. Hearing from you, their parents, the people they trust and love, is the best source for information and reassurance.

Prepare for your conversation with your children and have a unified message. Be in the right frame of mind and devote your full attention to this discussion. Are you ready to have this important conversation though you may not have answers to some of the questions?

Begin the conversation by asking your child what he or she heard. Listen quietly until he or she finishes talking. Before you say more, summarize to your child what you heard him or her say. Keep your sentences short and simple.
Reassure your child that the world is still a basically safe place. Project a sense of confidence in your ability to take care of your children and help them be safe.
Explain in words your child will understand that this was a terrible act committed by a sick person.
What are the rules of the home that you may or may not want to change, for example, if your child has permission to go to the store alone or walk to school alone? You may want to make some changes in the short term, discussing this with your son or daughter and asking them their opinions as well. They may not understand that an event that happened in another community should affect their daily routine. Give practical examples in an age-appropriate way.
Tell your children and reassure them that it is safe to speak to you and important to share what they are thinking and feeling. Most children actually do want to speak and share information with parents, including adolescents.

Every child, at every age, has questions. Even if they are not asking you questions immediately, go back and check in with them later in the day or over the next few days.
Keep the dialogue going. Don’t make them anxious or scared by asking them questions too often. It is not unusual for a child to move on from a story very quickly. Young children may even go back to their routine while adults continue to talk about it.
How can you explain to your child that even when they do everything right, a bad thing could happen? For example, asking directions or help crossing the street from a person “in the community”.

We have long emphasized that “stranger danger” is a very small percentage of the people who hurt our children, that it is mainly people that we know and trust that hurt our children. It is important to talk about this story, but not to overemphasize the particulars of this case because thankfully it occurs in such a very small percentage and we want to be sure our children understand how to respond to the more natural reoccurring life events.
While we are acknowledging the horrors of this story, we also want to talk about the more common challenges and dangers that our children face every day.
An important lesson that we learn from traumatic events such as 9/11, car accidents, tsunamis, hurricanes, is we tend to create a picture of the worst part of the story, for example, the planes crashing into the World Trade Center. This is natural, but what we want to remember more is the life of the people involved. This is similar to how we are advised to pay a shiva call. We are supposed to talk about the life of the niftar much more than the details of the death.

In this instance, you can also emphasize the extraordinary response by the community and show of support, which provides a positive and reassuring message.
When you end your conversation, ask your child to summarize what you spoke about. Don’t push if your child can’t do this, but if he or she can, it is better to hear it in their words and it will give you a good picture of what they understand.
Plan a response to “red flags”. It may be innocuous, a young child being scared and getting into your bed at night, bedwetting, or fear of the routine. These can all be normal reactions and with reassurance from you knowing that you are there and supportive, they should return to their normal behavior relatively quickly.
Children are strong and resilient and by and large will return to their normal routines. If problems persist, contact your pediatrician or an experienced mental health professional.

OHEL professionals are available to provide support and counseling to any individual and family, as well as visit any school, day camp, overnight camp, summer community or any group that may benefit from such a discussion.

Parenting post

2011-07-11T12:14:00.002-05:00

A recently submitted post of mine was just published at beyondbt.com.
You can read "Expanding the Backyard" here.

The most important word of a bracha

2011-07-06T23:51:00.000-05:00

From Hamodia.com

Soon after it's publication, I received a copy of Artscroll's biography, Rav Gifter, by Rabbi Yechiel Spero. As a close friend pointed out to me, it's an "easy read". This is true, because Rav Gifter zt'l was a gadol that those from America (like myself) could relate to. Moving from Portsmouth, VA to Balitmore at the age of two, he attended public school until going to NY at age 13 to attend YU's high school. His life along with the interviews and accounts of Telz (both in Lithuania and Cleveland) are snapshots of both the destruction and rebirth of a great yeshiva.

I'm about half way through this sefer and I find myself thinking about the following prior to every bracha I make:

One student recalls Rav Gifter aksing them what seemed like a very simple question: What is the most important word in the blessing of "shehalok nihyeh b'dvaro- through Whose word everything came to be?"

Each of the young men gave their suggestions. One suggested that Name of Hashem; another thought that it might be Melech (King). But Rav Gifter's answer remained with this talmid some 65 years later.

"The word Atah [You] is the most important word. It shows us that we have a personal relationship with the Al-mighty."
(page 84)

Isn't "half-Shabbos" only half bad?

2011-06-27T19:48:00.001-05:00

This is probably not a surprise, but I’m not in favor of “half-Shabbos”. In fact, I strongly suggest that if you haven’t read Rabbi Maryles’ post on the subject from last week, then you should.

Of course, it’s not just high school age teens. I know of twenty-somethings that do this, too. Like germs, technology trends, fad diets, and a funny clip on YouTube… it’s everwhere.

If I found out that my own son or daughter was texting on Shabbos, I’m not sure what I would do (it would probably involved some screaming, sadly). Most likely, I'd start playing the blame game. It’s pretty easy to blame the school and the parents for not teaching our youth to appreciate the beauty of Shabbos. It’s even easier to look at our shuls, Rabbanim, and community leaders and think that if there was more real leadership or a feeling of passion about Yiddishkeit then these kids would feel some busha about texting in parks or behind closed doors. I’ve read about this in blogs for almost a year. I’ve seen the comments, schmoozed with a few friends about this and there’s one question that I haven’t heard.

What were these people doing on Shabbos before they started texting and using their phone on Shabbos Kodesh? Probably tearing toilet-paper, picking out the bad jelly-beans from the good ones, watching movies on Shabbos with their iPhones on Netflix (with headphones), chewing treif gum or even something worse. The odds are that someone who is keeping “half-Shabbos” by texting has been involved in other less-headline grabbing aspects of chillul Shabbos for some time. I know, you’re thinking, “You are right, Neil. I’ve read countless articles in the Jewish Week, Jewish Press, Chicago Jewish News, and the Baltimore Jewish Times about so many high school age teens that are being rebellious by double-knotting their shoes on Shabbos.” In fact, if we assur’ed lace-up shoes, then we could stem the tide of kids at-risk.

If we want to really isolate the blame as to why “half-Shabbos” has become a trend then we have to swallow the hechshared or other-the-counter-approved pill and look at the person reading this (I’ll take care of looking at the person writing this). It’s us.

We are to blame.

If you choose to blame the schools or the shuls, then stop. If you think the schools and shuls should be more involved in promoting the concept of Ahavas Hashem and the importance of building a relationship with Hashem then you have to be the one to discuss it with those people in charge. If you think that parents who try to be friends with their kids instead of being parents are to blame for not being more aware of what their kids are doing, then learn how to approach the parents. Now, it could be that parents and educators don’t have the tools needed to approach those that keep “half-Shabbos”. Then we need to pull together Rabbis, educators, Kiruv-types, and adolescent psychologists to figure out a game plan.

I’m an optimist by default. This “glitch in the matrix” is just that, a glitch. This is just a trend. We, as an observant community, have dealt with both youth and adults not keeping “full Shabbos” in the past. In fact, Rabbi Yisrael Salanter encountered it when he moved to the port city of Memel of Lithuania, a community that wasn’t so into keeping Shabbos:

Reb Yisroel did not take a harsh, uncompromising stance against Sabbath desecration in that setting. Instead, he resorted to a soft, graduated approach. In his first sermon he explained the concept of Shabbos to the people on their level, concluding that chillul Shabbos at the port was intolerable because of the writing involved - the major Sabbath desecration of running a business. He did not discuss the actual portering of goods. Many agreed that they could postpone their writing until the weekdays, while the loading and unloading continued.

Some weeks later he suggested that without too much sacrifice, it should be possible not to send shipments, even if goods did arrive. Slowly this approach too became acceptable to the merchants. After a period of time, he convinced them that even the unloading was not vital - and the Jewish merchants of the city ceased all their port activities on the Shabbos. A revolutionized Memel emerged. (From Tnuas Hamussar vol 1, page 186)

One of the many things to learn from the above story is that you can’t always have an “all or nothing” approach. That doesn’t work all the time. In fact, we don't even need to look to a story about Jewish life in 1860, I can look to our times. There’s a group called Reboot who started a campaign a few years ago called the Sabbath Manifesto.

It wasn’t started by a kiruv organization, an outreach yeshiva, or an umbrella organization that represents Torah Jews. It was started by diverse group of non-Orthodox Jews. They try to and have been successful in getting people to reduce using communication devices on Shabbos. They even sell a cool sleeping bag to put your cell phone into. The had a national day of unplugging in March and had thousands of people unplug from their phones for a Shabbos.

Most social trends like inter-marriage, assimilation, and substance abuse tend to start outside of our own dalet amos and eventually filter into our heimishe velt. Maybe trend of unplugging will reach those choosing to keep "half-Shabbos" and filter into our own heileigah homes and schools.

In the meantime, if you're one of those who keeps a "half-Shabbos" then remember, you're still half-way closer to "full Shabbos".

* A special thanks to R Yitzchok Lowenbraun and AJOP for featuring this post in their weekly newsletter.

Sunday's Spark of Mussar

2011-06-26T12:43:00.000-05:00

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter

A person who refuses to work for the public because he is too burdened with other things will find that he is always too burdened.

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

Donate online to help Wendy Runge

2011-06-17T13:20:00.001-05:00

http://www.savewendy.org/

From the 5 Towns Jewish Times: IN DEFENSE OF WENDY RUNGE

2011-06-17T00:27:00.000-05:00

I highly recommend reading this article by Rabbi Chaim Goldberger about the legal battle that my friend Wendy Runge has been going through for over a year, now.

Rabbi Goldberger has summarized the facts and this article needs to be read and forwarded. It can be found here.

Sunday's Spark of Mussar

2011-06-12T09:54:00.000-05:00

In Slobodka tamidim who devotedly attended the sick were forgiven for any shortcomings.

From Sparks of Mussar by R Chaim Ephraim Zaitchik

A true win in the eyes of the non-sports fan

2011-06-08T21:08:00.000-05:00

I am not a sports fan.

I could blame it on the environment I grew up in, since my hometown isn’t home to any professional sports teams. I was never particularly athletic, but did play some soccer when I was in elementary school. That, aside from posing as a skateboard, was the extent of my active involvement in any sports. Of course, I bike (for information about this and how to help me raise money for Chai Lifeline click here), but it’s more of a hobbie. My father a”h was an avid tennis player and golfer back in the day and he loved to watch college basketball, especially our local team, the Wichita State Shockers. We would attend many games during the season and always watch them on TV. As I got older, my interest in spending time watching games with my father dissipated, as I moved towards things like comic books, decisively counter-culture music, and Yiddishkeit.

My lack of interest in sports as an adult, you see, has nothing to do with religion or frumkeit. In fact, not being able to chime in about various sports news, scores, and game highlights is somewhat of a social damper for me especially during Kiddush on Shabbos. As I’ve posted before, my son (in 5th grade) is a huge sports fanatic. Aside from being fairly athletic (he gets this from my wife’s side of the family), he is a avid fan of professional sports. At White Sox games he has completely held his own when talking about plays with adults sitting near us and will even record games off the radio with his mp3 player so that he can listen to them if he falls asleep.

As a father I know and have seen how sports can be a “father and son” bonding thing. I make an effort to always find out the scores of games in the morning, so that I can tell him who wins and I often will be the one to give him a newsflash about when someone is traded from one team to another. My son understands that I take an active role in what interests him, even if I remain on the sidelines. Playing sports is more than just exercise, it builds teamwork, confidence, and teaches one to follow directions. As I have seen for the past few years in the little league that my son plays in, with the right role-models there are many opportunities to teach the importance of both good sportsmanship and also Kiddush Hashem (as in the real mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem, which classically relates to how other Jews see you).

After a recent little league baseball game my son’s coach emailed us about a decision he made towards the end of the game. I admit, I had to read it a few times and even wiki’ed a baseball term. It seems that the coach decided, “to walk one player from the opposing team to load the bases so that there could be a force play at every base in the event that the subsequent batter put the ball in play the ball in play.” As it turns out, my son’s coach “unintentionally violated the rules by ordering an intentional walk so there would be a force play at every base when the next batter came up to bat”, as he wrote us in the email. He concluded his email, which he asked us to read to our sons, with these words:

“As I have discussed making a Kiddush Hashem with the kids over and over, I feel that I may have done just the opposite. I take full responsibility for what transpired and as the coach of the team, I am fully accountable. Please let the boys know that I am sorry that I let them down and I will try to be better in the future. As role models, we can never let our desire to win supersede our obligation to act with derech eretz and proper respect for our fellow players.”

My son’s team has a fairly good record so far this season. There will be more games won and probably a few that he will lose, but this was a true win. I hope in the years to come when he sees his father make mistakes along the way or when he, himself, makes the wrong call at some point, he will be able to look at the intellectual honesty and Torah true menschlikeit that his coach demonstrated.

Rough Drafts, Sloppy copies and Shavuos

2011-06-06T11:33:00.001-05:00

In a discussion with my 5th grade son about a research paper he was completing I attempted to explain the importance of a rough draft, as a blueprint for what would be his final product. My 3rd grader, who was listening (and thinking her brother was getting a lecture) chimed in, "My teachers call it a sloppy copy."

I have always enjoyed the origins of slang words/phrases that seem to make it into our general daily conversation. My fascination probably is rooted in some adolescent form of, as R Mordechai Torczyner would call it, "coolkeit". Fortifying myself with the language of our youth makes me feel younger and it is less painful than dieting and exercising.

So, I have to wonder, when a "rough draft" start being called a "sloppy copy"?

I am not against the name change, just taken back. This is, again, an example of Niskatnu HaDoros, the diminishing of the generations. "Sloppy copy" seems so, well messy. "Rough draft" does sound abrasive, but it's a draft. It implies putting in time and effort into making something. There is a feeling of a work ethic associated with a "rough draft". To me a "sloppy copy" is when you photocopy something and pull the original off the copier glass at the last minute so that the far right side of your photocopy is all wavy and blurry.

Now, with any draft or copy (even this post, which had two drafts) the goal is a completed product that has a feeling of shlaymus (wholeness). The Torah, and both sets of luchos, is a perfect draft in its' original form. No editing or revising needed. I hope I have used the past 49 days to fix up my, as the kids call it, "sloppy copy" and make myself ready to receive the Torah.

Sent via Blackberry by AT&T

2011-06-05T09:04:00.000-05:00

In Rav Moshe Weinberger’s Perkei Avos shiurim that I listened to this past Sunday, while biking, he mentioned a few ideas that I’d like to expand upon, L’zecher Nishmas the 4th yahrzeit of Rivka bas Chaim Yosef a”h, my mother-in-law.

Rav Weinberger asks (in the 2st shiur) a question based on the Marahal's Derech Chaim, “Why does the first mishna start of stating that Moshe received the Torah from Har Sinai, instead of stating that the Torah was received from Hashem?”
Har Sinai was more than just a place, it was a way of life. The location was chosen by Hashem, just like we, B’nai Yisrael were chosen by Hashem. Har Sinai was a constant, a visible force. It was also chosen because of its' size and the middah of humility, as many of our children have learned in pre-school. To be someone that receives Hashem’s Torah, means that you are willing to receive from anyone who can teach you. It’s is we, like Moshe, who have to be willing to learn what anyone is willing to teach us, no matter if they are a Gadol or a Katon.

Peirkei Avos, Rav Weinberger says, is called “Avos” because the Torah within these Mishnayos are based on a mesorah that goes back and is rooted in the yashrus, the ehrlichkeit, middos, and derech eretz of our Avos and Imos. Avraham, Yitzchak, Yaaov, Sara, Rivka, Rochel, and Leah, like Har Sinai, taught us how to be m’kabal not just the Torah but a Torah lifestyle of middos tovos. Perkei Avos isn't just the textbook for a course on how to "act frum" it's teaches you how to live a frum life. The Avos and Imos, but the Avos gave over the passion of the one writing the textbook. My wife's mother was a prime example of this. She knew what it meant to be frum, to love Hashem, to have a relationship with Hashem. She gave that over to those she knew, especially to Joanie.

Later in the 3rd shiur, Rav Weinberger gives an insight into the first thing said by the Anshei Knesses Gedolah, “Be deliberate in judgment.” This teaching is so important when viewed within context of what was happening to the generation at the that time. It was the end of the era of Nevu’ah, prophecy, and B'nai Yisrael felt that Hashem was abandoning them. The Mabit (Rav Moshe be Yosef of Tirani) says that being "deliberate in judgment" doesn't refer to how we view other people, but how we view the events that happen to us in life.

Din is always related to examining every detail of a situation, looking at things from all sides. He says that we should always realize, even if the darkest times when we no longer have Naviim, that Hashem is always with us. This is what the Anshei Knesses Gedolah was teaching their generation.

When we are able to “be deliberate in judgment” and see how each detail in our life is connected to another detail, then the outcome can only be that Hashem is with us. This was a middah that Rivka bas Chaim Yosef had perfected. My mother-in-law never looked at tragedy, loss, or any difficulty as a punishment from Hashem. She always knew that Hashem was constantly with her, watching, guiding, and protecting. We should all be zoche to take this middah from Bubbie and giving it over to our own children.

A request from Mrs. Uberdox

2011-06-03T08:44:00.001-05:00

My wife asks of my readers the following:
In honor of my mother's 4th Yarzheit, Take the time out of your day to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on , give a warm smile and most importantly don't forget to tell your family and friends how much you love them. Tomorrow simply isn't guaranteed. The yarzheit of my mother-in-law, Rivka bas Chaim Yosef a"h, starts this Shabbos night.
Thank you.
Sent via Blackberry by AT&T

5 hours, 52.5 miles, and $2,448

2011-06-01T23:21:00.000-05:00

Photo taken by me at 6:30AM on 5/29/11

Sunday at 5:40AM I biked Lake Shore Drive as part of Chai Lifeline's Chai Cyclists. It was misty and foggy for most of the ride, not exactly picture perfect weather like previous years, but still amazing. I had hoped to bike 45 miles in just over 4 hours, but in the end I spent 5 hours biking 52.5 miles, the last hour in the rain.

At first the fog wasn't a big deal to me, even though it seems that less people we on the Drive this year. When it started misting, I found myself stopping and cleaning my glasses. It seemed like my first 45 miles went fairly smoothly. While I was thrilled to be biking when it was overcast and 60 degrees, the fog was intense and landmark sites like Buckingham Fountain, the Field Museum, and Soldier Field seemed to disappear as I biked past them.

Things were going well until the rain came at 9:30, when they start clearing the bikers off of Lake Shore drive (think of it as the Belt, or the Van Wyke). We were all directed to take the "bike path" along the actual lake. On any other day this would have been quite the scenic route, but then it the light mist turned to rain for those last 60 minute and time moved slowly.

It wasn't all that bad. Prior to the rain, I was able to listen to the first three of Rav Moshe Weinberger's Pirkei Avos shiurim, which were great. The music that played after those kept me moving even as rain seemed to find me, despite my wishes.

It was a victory for me and for the children and families that are continuously helped by the efforts of Chai Lifeline. I was greeted with cheers from the staff and my brother, who came in from Brooklyn, for my accomplishment.

After the event I went back home with my brother and a close friend/fellow Chai Lifeline cyclist (since he drove us downtown) to be greeted by wife, kids and my friend's family for a gala breakfast that Mrs. Uberdox made for us.

For those that sponsored me, thanks!!! A blog post or a thank you letter doesn't really do justice to how you have directly helped Chai Lifeline by sponsoring me for this event. My total raised: $2,448.

2011-05-29T11:34:00.002-05:00

After 5 hours (last one in the rain) I biked a total of 52.5 miles and raised over $2200 for Chai Lifeline. Now I need to dry off.
Thanks to all my sponsors.

Last post before Bike The Drive

2011-05-27T00:22:00.018-05:00

Biked for an hour last night and I'm ready for the big ride.
My brother plans on driving in from Brooklyn to be at the ride and cheer me on, which is awesome. So far, I've raised over $2100 for Chai Lifeline and I'm so thankful that such a wide range of people sponsored me. From long time friends, to bloggers I've become friends with, to relatives, to a non-Jew from high school, and even my shul...it's a wild group.

My wife and kids have been encouraging me and I'm begining to feel somewhat "more active". The sadness of not being able to share this success with my in-laws a"h and my father a"h is somewhat offset by knowing that the money raised is,mamash, going towards children and their families that needed it.

I'm pretty excited to get back on Lake Shore Drive again and hoping for excellent weather.
Training weekly for this has been tough, but worth it. It's also given me a fixed time to prepare and think about my "Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh" chabura that I started a few months ago. Indeed, time well spent.

My first three hours biking will be used for listening to shiurim in zechus of a Refuah Shelayima for Revuen ben Tova Chaya, Zev Meir ben Yael Sarra, Rivkah Zelda bat Sarah and Miriam bas chana Yael; also as a merit for 2 couples who want children. In addition, it will be l'zecher nishmas:
Rivkah bas Chaim Yosef
Dan HaLevi bas Aharon
Avraham ben Zorach
Efraim ben Shlomo
Rebbetzin Zlata Geisinksky
Chaya bas Tuvyeh Leib
Eliezer Baruch Chaim

This year's playlist is:

Pirkei Avos (1)- Why Begin with Olam Habah? Rav Moshe Weinberger
Pirkey Avos (2) - The Kiss Of Har Sinai - Rav Moshe Weinberger
Pirkei Avos (3) Humility - The Only Prerequisite Rav Moshe Weinberger
Pirkei Avos (4) Patience With Others, With Hahsem And With Ourselves Rav Moshe Weinberger
Hashem Melech- Yosef Karduner
Hallelu- Rockiah
Ki Lo Yitosh- Rockiah
Va-Yivan Uziyah- Piamenta
L'Shana Habaah- Piamenta
Anachnu Maaminim Medley- Piamenta
Dreams of my Redemption- Piamenta
Hafachta- The Diaspora Yeshiva Band
Cracow Nigun- Reb Shlomo Carlebach
V'li Yeruholayim- Yitzhak Halevi Band
Pischu Li- Yitzhak Halevi Band
In the Merit Of…- Pitom
Flash Gordon Theme- Queen
All Those People Know- Bob Mould
Chartered Trips- Husker Du
Sorrow- Bad Religion

Thanks to all of you who have be so kind to sponsor me.

If you haven't sponsored me, there's till time:

http://tiny.cc/chailifeline

Baruch Dayan HaEmes

2011-05-24T13:05:00.001-05:00

I was informed that Eliezer Baruch Chaim Ben Rochel Leah was niftar. I thank those of you who davened for him.
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IF YOU HAVE EVER ENJOYED READING THIS BLOG...

2011-05-17T16:43:00.001-05:00

Hi. My name is Neil and I have a blog, which you are now reading. If you have read any of my posts over the last five years and they have made you think, laugh, smile, give up using the web, look up something, or try to be a better person, then please consider helping me as I bike 45 miles on May 29th.

I will, for the fourth year in a row, be joining dozens of Chai Cyclists in Chicago´s Bike the Drive, a thirty-mile rally on Lake Shore Drive, to raise money for Chai Lifeline, a wonderful organization dedicated to helping very sick children and their families.

Chai Lifeline provides year-round emotional, social, and financial support to more than 3,000 children and their families every year. In our area, Chai Lifeline Midwest offers access to two-dozen free programs and services that touch each member of the family, helping them to live full and happy lives despite the presence of illness.

Last year, with your help, I was able to raise a record amount of money for Chai Lifeline. I biked a total of 45 miles on Lake Shore Drive in downtown Chicago within 4 hours, which was personal record for me. I dedicated my biking to my father, Al Harris, of blessed memory, who had died that year of Leukemia. While it was great being able to celebrate with my wife, children, and by brother (who came to town to join us), the real victory was for those helped by Chai Lifeline by your donations. I cannot tell you how much it meant to me and my entire family from across the country.

I have been training during the past few months indoors and I am currently training on the streets of Chicago and Skokie biking in the evenings and getting ready for the big ride. I will admit, this year, I have another goal besides raising funds to help Chai Lifeline. This year I am hoping that my bike training will not only get me in ready for the ride, but will also help me get into better physical shape for life.

Chai, mean "life", and I have seen that that the work, love, care, and support that Chai Lifeline gives is truly a lifeline for many people. They provide so much for so many people. And now, together, we can both help them. The word "mitzvah" is derived from the Hebrew word meaning "to connect". By sponsoring me for Bike the Drive, you are making an unbreakable connection by directly helping so many children and their families.

I have the best trainers in the world working with me...my wife and three kids. I know in the past I've had your support and I'm hoping you will sponsor me once again.
My objective is to raise $3,500.00 by race day and I hope you will help me reach this goal. All donations are 100% tax deductible. If your company has a matching gift program, your gift may be doubled or tripled.

Thank you for supporting me, and in doing so, helping children and their families cope with the diagnosis, treatment and aftermath of serious pediatric illness. Please feel free to forward this to anyone who might be interested in supporting Chai Lifeline.

To find out how you can help sponsor me (in any amount, no matter how small or how big), please click here:
http://tiny.cc/chailifeline

Thank you for reading,
Neil

A quick must read from Yeranen Yaakov

2011-05-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

Yaak just posted this, Outdoing Chicago.
Please take a minutes and read it, since it really speaks to all Yidden.

Sunday's Salanter Selection

2011-05-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

R Yisrael Salanter said:
Silence: Deliberate on the ramifications of your words before uttering them
(From this old post)

Rav Moshe Weinberger on davening and a relationship with Hashem

2011-05-13T14:42:00.001-05:00

"If you don't know about God, if you don't care about God, if you don't feel anything for God, so then the most uncomfortable place in the world to be is shul [synagogue]. Unless the guy next to you is interesting. And that's why you'll find people who are normally very shy and reserved outside of shul and all of the sudden in shul it's like Johnny Carson or Jay Leno. He's got so much to say and so much to talk about. There's an old song that I remember from one of my earlier gilgulim, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with". You know that song? Really the Rabbono Shel Olam is the one that we love. People don't know. They are not hearing about the Rabbono Shel Olam, they are not hearing what our bubbies and zaidies took for granted: a personal relationship that they. had and an ongoing dialogue with the Creator of the world."

(I found this transcribed quote in a "posting ideas" folder. Sadly, I forget which shiur it was from.)
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Drasha in honor of Chicago Hatzalah

2011-05-10T09:14:00.001-05:00

Drasha for Hatzalah Chicago - by Rabbi Leonard A. Matanky, Ph.D.
by Hatzalah Chicago on Monday, May 9, 2011 at 8:37pm
On April 3, 2011, Hatzalah Chicago had a beautiful dinner to congratulate its first EMT-B graduating class and to honor the wives of Hatzalah graduates for their unyielding support.

Rabbi Matanky graced us with his presence and delivered a most moving drasha for Hatzalah Chicago:

I was thinking of beginning my brief remarks this evening with a story from Hatzola - one of the amazing but absolutely true accounts that have appeared in the press or on the internet - those selfless acts of compassion, daring deeds of rescue and split-second decisions that have saved countless lives.

I really was thinking of beginning that way… but then I realized that knowing so many of you - the best Hatazola stories are yet to be told - because Hatzalah of Chicago is yet to begin saving lives and creating those stories.
And so this evening - instead - I've decided to share with you a story that is more than 150 years old - a story of the terrible cholera epidemic which claimed the lives of hundreds of Jews in Vilna and the response of one of our greatest Torah luminaries - someone that Reb Chaim described as having the stature of a ראשון - the great Reb Yisrael Lipkin, or as we know him - Reb Yisrael Salanter, זצ"ל

The year was 1848, and not unlike our modern day organizers of Hatzalah, when Reb Yisrael saw the medical emergency of his time, he jumped into action, renting a hospital with hundreds of beds, enlisting the aid of volunteer doctors and organizing dozens of "yeshiva yungerleit" to serve the needs of those afflicted with that terrible disease.

Under his direction, people worked day and night - the doctors administering medical care, and the "yungerleit" supporting all of the other needs of the patients - whether chopping wood for fuel, lighting fires, or anything else, regardless if it was a weekday or Shabbos.

One Friday night, among those stricken was the grandson of one of the "g'virim" of Vilna, Reb Yosef Chalfan. And… as these "yungerleit" had done for so many others - they cared for him, doing melacha on Shabbos - until he was out of mortal danger.

Soon afterwards, the grandfather appeared before Reb Yisrael, grateful for saving his grandson's life - but humbly and respectfully suggesting that perhaps… the "yungerleit" did a little too much, that maybe others - who weren't the creme de la creme of the yeshiva community - should have been called upon to work on Shabbos.

Hearing this, and fearing that such an attitude could jeopardize his entire life-saving campaign, Reb Yisrael uncharacteristically attacked this "g'vir" - accusing him in the strongest of language of challenging his halachic knowledge, his judgement and his ability to lead.

In fact, Reb Yisrael's verbal attack was so powerful - that R' Yosef Chalfan immediately removed his shoes, sat on the ground as if he was sitting shiva, and begged Reb Yisrael for forgiveness.

Tonight, nearly 162 years later we have gathered to honor and to celebrate - the very same mitzvah that Reb Yisrael defended so fiercely - a mitzvah that according to the חתם סופר is greater than שבת and greater than building even the Beit HaMikdash - or in his words - עדיף מן ?הכל - greater than everything; and therefore it's a mitzvah that WE - the frum members of our community should be proud to fulfill with our best and brightest…

Tonight we have the זכות to honor and celebrate the מצוה of SAVING LIVES - NOT when it's convenient, but when it's needed - 24/7 - on weekdays and on שבת and on יום טוב.

And on behalf of the rabbonim of the community I want each and every one of you to know - that when in a few months from now, Hatzalah actively begins it's efforts - we are behind you every step of the way.

And therefore, while I pray that no one is ever sticken ill - if they are, and if I have the zechus to see one of you driving to respond to an emergency ON Shabbos - I and all of the rest of the רבני העיר will be cheering you on, proud that we have frum people who understand what הקב"ה truly wants from us.

Which is to be "partners" in His world, to recognize that true and lasting kedusha emanates, not from passive acquiesence - but active involvement.

For as Rav Soloveitchik, זצ"ל taught, Har Sinai, the site of the most sacred and exalted event of all time, is today bereft of any קדושה. While the most sacred site in the world is הר הבית. Why? Because at Sinai, G-d reached out us. While at Har HaBayit, WE reached out to הקב"ה - we because partners with the Divine.

And that's the reason your work on behalf of Hatzalah is a true מלאכת הקודש, because you are partnering with הקב"ה.

Which is something that Reb Matisyahu Solomon, once taught - a lesson about the prayer of אבינו מלכינו.

Asked the mashgiach of Lakewood, what are we really asking for when we say - Avinu Malkeinu - our father our king, זכרינו לזכויות - remember us for merit?

Are we asking Him to give us credit for things we didn't do - to give us merit that is undeserved!?

Obviously not. Rather, what זכרינו לזכויות means is that we are asking הקב"ה to give us the ability to DO great things - to give us the opportunity that not everyone has… to achieve זכויות.

And that's what we are celebrating tonight - we are celebrating the MEN who will be given the זכות to save lives - and thereby are partnering with God. And we are celebrating their wives, who have not only stepped in so that their husbands could study, but are now ready to allow their husbands to sometimes leave them - on a moments notice - leave them and their families - for the sake of others and thereby THEY are partnering with God; and we are celebrating all those who have taught these men and who have organized this sacred effort - all the while creating זכויות - - and thereby partnering with God and building the merit of our community - לשם ולתפארת - according to halacha and with the support and the gratitude of our community.

And so, on behalf of an entire community, and in the name of the rabbonim who have the honor to offer some assistance, I thank all of you - and I look forward to those stories of miracles and wonders, of lives that will be saved and lives that will be rescued.

May הקב"ה bless you with limitless זכויות, with boundless commitment and with the guidance to lead, serve and save.

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If you have ever read this blog and gotten something out of it...

2011-05-08T10:45:00.000-05:00

... then please read this. I need your help.

In a few weeks, I will join dozens of Chai Cyclists in Chicago´s Bike the Drive, a thirty-mile rally on Lake Shore Drive, to raise money for Chai Lifeline, a wonderful organization dedicated to helping very sick children and their families.
Chai Lifeline provides year-round emotional, social, and financial support to more than 3,000 children and their families every year. In our area, Chai Lifeline Midwest offers access to two-dozen free programs and services that touch each member of the family, helping them to live full and happy lives despite the presence of illness.
My objective is to raise $3,500.00 by race day and I hope you will help me reach this goal. All donations are 100% tax deductible. If your company has a matching gift program, your gift may be doubled or tripled.
Thank you for supporting me, and in doing so, helping children and their families cope with the diagnosis, treatment and aftermath of serious pediatric illness. Please feel free to forward this to anyone who might be interested in supporting Chai Lifeline.

To contribute, please click here.
Your contribution is greatly appreciated.

Sunday's Salanter Selection

2011-05-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

Rabbi Yisrael Salanter said:

Man's true worth is measured by his middos.

The time of our freedom

2011-04-17T22:42:00.001-05:00

Pesach is z'man cherusanu, the time of freedom. Rav Hirsch explains that until the time of Hashem taking us out of Egypt, all cultures had slaves. It was how the world worked back then. B'nai Yisrael were the first "free people". The concept of freedom, prior to our Exodus was something that the world didn't understand or couldn't even comprehend.

With this idea from Rav Hirsch in mind, I look upon the next week and especially the seder nights an opportunity to anchor myself to a freedom that is true. The freedom to recall and bring to action the unique role of being both a child of Hashem and also a servant.

We are all tied down. This can be both a positive and a negative. Being tied down to the role of a spouse and a parent is a wonderful bracha. Those responsibilities center us and become a lifeline to us. Feeling tied down to one's job or economic situation can have a terrible effect on a person. True freedom is when we can decide what we want to put of strengths into.

We can look at someone who lives a carefree life as being the most "free" of all men. However, making the choice not to play by any one's rules and taking the "road less traveled" doesn't always show true independence. To rebel l'shem rebellion, just to say that you are your own person isn't always an example of freedom (there are those that, mamesh, rebel against society or a culture, in the name of Heaven, but I'm not writing about this).

So I sit at my laptop, knowing that in twenty-four hours, I'll be at my own seder with my wife, that I love and still have no clue how she puts up with me, my three children, that are each different and still all peas in the same pad, and my brother, who has traveled from NY to be with us, with family. I hope that they will have nice memories of our sederim and I will try to explain that the real freedom is to choose how you want to live your life. For me, based on my traditions, what I learned in yeshiva, from rabbis, and what I have read, it's a freedom that boils down to what is my purpose and how can stay on track every moment of my lfe.

Modern Uberdox

Glimpse of Greatness- Rav Dovid Lifshitz zt'l

Sunday's mussar moment

Staying in shul (and davening)

Giving and taking; expanding and contracting

Yahrtzeit of Rav Dessler zt'l

Secret identities and blogging

Sunday's Salanter selection

Tomer Devorah shiurim 6 and 7 now online

Starubucks' Blond Roast and kiruv

Images and agendas

164 of The Rav's shiurim in English now online

Sunday's nibble from Novardok

"Just six words" thread at BeyondBT.com

Raising More Tolerant Children

Sunday's Slabodka selection

Looking at my outlook

NCSY and the sweet sound of graditude

My 40 minutes as a 6th grade substitute

A thoughtful gift

8th grade graduation picture of Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt'l

A short Chanukkah note

Sunday's Salanter selection

I'm Watching You Dad - For All Parents

Taking it to the next level

New Shiur starting in Chicago: Bilvavi Mishkan Evneh on Messilas Yesharim

Tomer Devorah shiur #4 now online

Straight from the Laugh Factory in Vilna...

Sheloshim Memorial for Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l to be held Dec 8th at HTC

Just leave me alone

Sunday's self-knowledge question

Reb Moshe and the broken tape recorder

Great Mussar for me

The bottom line in Judaism

Sunday's Spark of Mussar

Tomer Devorah shiur #3 now online and no shiur this Sunday

The way Yiddishkeit is transmitted

R Yisrael Salanter's insight and patience with others

Tomer Devorah shiur #2 now online

Recording of R Ephraim Wachsman from Cong. KINS

A signature story about Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l

2nd yahrzeit of my father a"h

Tomer Devorah shiur #1 now online

In memory of my father-in-law's 4th yahrtzeit

HaRav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt"l, Howard Schultz and the Holocaust

Over 700 postings now labeled

Palm Trees in Chicago

Too cool for shul

The occasional value of chitzoniyus

In memory of Yosef ben Shlomo HaKohen a"h

Learn one of seforim that inspired R Yisrael Salanter starting Nov 6th in Chicago

Chief Rabbi Sir Jonathan Sacks on how to daven

As heard on parshas Bereishis (Genesis) from Rav Moshe Weinberger

Your Hulu is more treif than my Starbuck's iced latte

Hisbodedus (transcribed)

The Rav and the Rebbe

Rav Frand on the how to disagree and the paradigm of unity

Excerpt from "Song of Teshuva

Tehillim needed for 22 month old girl

Shiur by Rav Weinberger on Elul, posted at yutorah.org

Do I really have to wake up?

Good links for Elul

"His final Mitzvah"

﻿Elul: Over-thinking vs. simplifying things

Mussaf davening on cruise-control

Sunday's nibble from Novaradok

Sunday's Salanter selection

Rav Weinberger's commentary on Oros(t) HaTeshuva now in book form

A Day to Disconnect

Sunday's mussar message

Factoring in breakage

Recipe hunt: Pinati's fish

Sunday's Salanter Saying

The middah of chillaxing and coffee

Bike Helmets offered to Chicago residents

"Making an empty space for new thought"

Weight Watchers and mussar

Ohel's advice

ADVICE TO PARENTS ON HOW TO TALK TO THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT THE TERRIBLE TRAGEDY OF THE MURDER OF LEIBY – A 9 YEAR OLD BOY IN BROOKLYN

Parenting post

Elul: Over-thinking vs. simplifying things